Broken & Lonesome
by Jayne Anger
Summary: Eleanor Jensen becomes the photographer for the next issue of WWE magazine. Her assignment? The Shield. She'll have to spend one on one time with each member, trying to capture their personalities outside of the ring. How hard could it possibly be? Dean Ambrose/OC
1. Chapter 1

**AN:/ So. This is slightly new for me. I haven't wrote in a long time. And on top of that I've never wrote a wrestling fanfic before. So if it sucks, tell me what I need to fix in the reviews. Thanks. **

I sat fidgeting with the ends of my brunette hair, trying to forget who sat at the other side of the door in front of me. Stephanie McMahon. Or Levesque. Whichever she preferred.

To say I was nervous as hell would be an understatement. To meet someone who was part of the WWE franchise or to just be at the headquarters blew my mind. I wasn't here to just tour or whatever though. Stephanie McMahon had actually called to schedule an appointment with me. Whatever for I had no idea. I was just your normal girl. There's nothing special about me.

I guess I did have inkling about what the meeting could be about. I was a photographer and I could only guess that Stephanie needed someone to capture some pictures at a show.

"Eleanor Jensen."

Before I could even give it a second thought Stephanie's assistant called me into her office. The whole thing was very intimidating. Never in my life had anyone ever had to escort me into a meeting.

When I crossed the threshold of the office my breath got caught in my throat. There was Stephanie McMahon in the flesh. Jesus Christ she was even more perfect in person. She had always been a woman that I wished to look like.

Once I finally managed to get my breathing under control I took a seat in the leather chair in front of Stephanie's desk. I tried to hold back a blush as the chair made a farting sound from my sudden weight.

Stephanie laughs softly at me. I shake off the embarrassment and put a smile on my face.

Reaching her hand out for me to shake Stephanie introduces herself and I have to refrain for telling her it's not necessary.

"Miss Jensen-"she starts.

"Please call me Eleanor. Better yet, call me Elle." I say with a smile. I hoped I wasn't coming off the wrong way to her.

"Alright, Elle." She says with a smile that matches my own.

"You're probably wondering why I wanted to schedule a meeting with you or how I even discovered you."

I nod.

"Well, WWE had a very important member of the staff walk away recently, not a superstar of course. But someone equally important."

I stare back at her confused. Where is she going with this?

"It was a photographer."

Knew it. It was probably just a photographer for one of the minor events. I knew it wouldn't be anything too big or exciting.

"Now this photographer, Elle, was more than a photographer for a minor event."

She continues and I can hear the panic in her voice.

"This photographer was in charge of capturing the pictures for the July Issue of the WWE magazine. But this wasn't just a cover page. No. This was a cover plus an 8 page spread! And the asshole just up and quits!" The edge I can hear in her voice is slightly scary.

"So now the magazine is without a photographer for the front page and the main article! But that is where you come in Elle." She says with the smallest of smiles playing on her lips.

"What do you mean?" I ask. She couldn't possibly want me to take over the job, could she? The only time I've ever done professional shootings is at weddings for friends of friends.

"I would like you to take over the job."

My jaw hits the floor and my eyes grow wide as saucers.

"Me? But…I….I couldn't possibly" I stutter.

"But you could. I've seen your work. It's brilliant. It tells the story. You really have a gift Elle." She says brightly.

The only work I have is wedding shots. Shit, I don't even have a business card.

I continue to stare at her speechlessly.

"The article will focus on the lives of three superstars outside and inside of the ring. The assignment will last a little over a month. Well, you following them around will last that long. I assume you'll need a little more time to edit the pictures or whatever it is you do. And of course the WWE will pay for all travel expenses. You will also have to do a photo shoot for the cover page but I don't imagine that to be too hard."

I continue to stare at her. Was she kidding?

"What do you say?"

"Yes." I said without a moment's hesitation. Of course I was wary. But what was holding me back? No boyfriend, hardly any family, and I was self-employed. Maybe now my photographer career could finally take off.

"Really? I can't wait to see what you can do." She says with a beaming smile.

"Now, you'll be working with The Shield."

I laugh nervously. Being a fan myself, I was aware of how intimidating The Shield were on television. Not to say they weren't lovely men in person.

Noticing my reaction Stephanie asks "Is that a problem?"

"Not at all" I say quickly.

"Great. Now tonight, you, me, the three members of The Shield, and Paul will meet for dinner."

"Paul?" I asked confused. As in Heyman?

"Heyman. The Shield are secretly his clients."

"Makes sense. Considering they would always help Punk in some way."

"Smart girl!" She laughs "Now here's my number. I'll text you the extra details, okay?"

"Sure." I say nodding. "But if you don't mind me asking, how did you discover me?"

"Oh, well. You see, the girl that wrote the article about The Shield recommended you. And after I took a look at some of the wedding photos you did I knew you would be perfect."

"Who recommended me?" I asked slightly confused. It couldn't have been Terri, my best friend, not only did she have an IQ of a peanut but she would've told me if she got an opportunity like that. She was one of the only friends I had.

"Katherine Mooney." Ah. I see. Katherine had worked with me for a wedding a couple weeks ago. She was the one writing the article for the newspaper about the couple.

"Oh. I'll have to be sure to thank her."

I stand up from my chair and thank Stephanie for the opportunity. As I walk out the door I can't help but feel nervous. This was a big deal for me. I just hope I don't screw it up.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:/ So, I checked my traffic stats and a lot of people have actually viewed this story. And that really makes my heart swell. And you would think with 104 views I would have more than 1 review. But hey, I do appreciate that review! So thank you **_1 crazy brunette goddess _**for your lovely review!**

Playing with the hem of my navy blue casual dress, I nervously walk into the restaurant I would be meeting Stephanie and the guys at.

"Remain calm." I say quietly to myself as I cross the threshold of the restaurant. I immediately spot Stephanie and the others.

"I'm not late am I?" I ask

"No, sweetie. Our hotel is just across the street." Stephanie answers.

"Oh." I say, my nerves finally settling.

"Hello. I'm Paul Heyman, and these guys are The Shield. Stephanie told me you were a fan so I bet you already knew that."

"Hi, Paul. I'm Eleanor. You can call me Elle." I say taking a seat in between Stephanie and Paul, with Dean Ambrose directly in front of me. Which I found unsettling considering he had been glaring at me since I made my way inside of the restaurant.

"Well, Elle. I'm Seth, this is Roman and that's-"

"Dean. My name is Dean." He says coldly. Jesus Christ, what is his problem?

"Nice to meet you all." I say with a smile avoiding Deans harsh gaze.

The waitress comes and takes our drink orders. I notice how she shamelessly flirts with Dean and he shamelessly flirts right back. He has known her for about the same amount of time he's known me, but she gets the royal treatment? What the hell?

Roman and Seth seemed friendly enough though. Stephanie then starts to talk about what we were here for. Business.

"In the magazine there will be the front page, of course, and then there will be an article about The Shield as a whole on 1 page. There will need to be a couple of pictures that will correspond with the article. Elle, I'll give you the articles to read over later." She says looking at me. This doesn't sound too hard.

"And you'll have time to capture those pictures over 1 week, so you'll just follow all three guys around as a whole, for whatever media they're required to do."

"Then the following week you'll go back to Seth's home town of Buffalo. And you should try to get pictures that really capture what Seth is like outside the ring." Stephanie continues.

"Then the next week you'll follow Dean around in Cincinnati." I try not to gulp as Dean looks at me from across the table with an animalistic smile on his face.

"Then last but not least you'll follow Roman around in Pensacola, okay?" She asks.

I nod. "Yeah, sounds easy enough."

"Are you sure?" Dean asks "Steph here says you've only ever don't wedding pictures. Not exactly the same is it?" He says with a snide tone.

I could feel my blood boiling. I was never one for controlling my temper.

"Well, of course it'll be different. But what's so fun about sticking to what you know? I'm positive I can do this." I say fiercely.

"Are you-"

Stephanie doesn't allow him to finish his sentence, noticing the obvious tension between us.

"Okay. Anyway. Now, boys, You're probably wondering why I wanted you here. It wasn't just to get aquatinted with Elle here."

Dean scoffs and I roll my eyes at him.

"As you know Extreme Rules is Sunday. And you all have matches. It was scripted for all of you too lose for the first time. But I think it would make the magazine sell exceptionally well if all three of you were holding a belt on the front page."

"So that means Seth and I will be the Tag Team Champions? And Dean will be the US Champion?" Roman asks.

Stephanie nods. Wow, that's actually a pretty big deal. Maybe The Shield would finally get the respect they deserved. The look on each guys face shows that they know it too.

"Elle, that's where you should get most of your shots at. Maybe something with them all holding their belts. I don't know you are the photographer!"

I smile and nod. This assignment just keeps getting better. I get to go to a paper view! My family never had enough money to buy a paper view each month, nonetheless get me tickets!

Stephanie starts to speak again. "I believe that after Sunday everyone will want a piece of The Shield. Does this offer sound good to you guys?"

All three members agree to the offer without giving it a second thought.

A little while later our dinner shows up and we all settle into a comfortable silence. But I swear I can still feel Dean's eyes on me.

"So, Elle" Seth starts "How did you get your start in photography?"

"My Gram was a photographer. And when she passed away her camera went to me. It's only been 3 since she died. So, I don't have nearly as much as experience as she did. She actually got paid for her work more than once a month." I say with a small laugh.

"You only have gigs once a month?"

"Yeah" I sigh "I make enough to live off for a month though. It's not too bad."

"That plus the prostitution money gets you by doesn't it?" Dean asks speaking up for the first time since the food arrived.

"No. The money I get from selling my body I donate to children in need." I say with a sickly sweet smile. He smirks back at me. The rest of the dinner party stares at us wide-eyed and I try not to blush.

"Well, why do you do wedding photos?" Stephanie asks.

"It's what my Gram did. Plus, I've never done anything else. I'm hoping that after I finish this assignment it will convince me to try other things."

Stephanie nods at me thoughtfully. "What did your family think about your job for the next month?"

"I didn't tell them." Everybody except maybe Dean looks at me in shock.

"I, uh. I didn't come from a good family. My father died when I was five years old. My mother became an alcoholic. So my Gram watched me until I went to college. Then after graduating at 22, I went an lived with her. When I turned 23, she passed away. So there's really no one to tell." I say sadly. I couldn't figure out why I was telling them this. I had only met them today.

"You didn't even tell your mother?" Stephanie asks concerned.

"She's probably too drunk off her ass to realize the phone's going off." I say harshly. I had never I had a good mother-daughter relationship. My Gram was the closest thing to a mother figure I had.

"Sounds like my type of women." Dean says with a smirk. I roll my eyes at him. Great. Another alcoholic to worry with.

Soon the bill comes and Stephanie, Paul, Dean, and Roman make their way across the street. Not without Dean sneering at me and saying "Goodnight, sunshine."

Something about that man just ticks me off.

Seth stays back though.

"Aren't you just across the street?" I ask as I try to hail a cab.

"No, I have a friend that stays in town here. She offered to let me stay with her." He says.

I inwardly sigh. Friend as in girlfriend. I should've figured. All the good ones were taken. Not that I would ever make a pass at Seth during the month. He was definitely cute though.

"I just wanted to tell you not to worry about Dean. He treats all women that don't fall all over him like that."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Like that Katherine chick. All over him from the moment she arrived. They even slept together over the week she was here. Thankfully it was only a week. She was annoying as fuck."

I giggle softly, trying not to dwell on the fact that Dean and Katherine slept together.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks as he easily hails me a cab. I had been trying to do it for at least 5 minutes.

"Bright and early." I say with a smile. And it wasn't a lie. The guys had a press conference to do at 8 and then a signing afterwards, then finally all 4 of us would be traveling together to the next city. I could tell this job would require a lot of running around.

I smile at him once more before climbing into the taxi. I'm able to see him waving before the cab takes off.

My weeks with Seth and Roman would most likely be easy. My week with Dean..I could already tell it would be a completely story.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:/ Hey guys. I'm updating this story at least once a day at the moment. So please don't be disappointed when I don't update once a day. That's only happening now because I stay at home all day. But next week, I'll be doing a play so updates won't be as frequent.**

**Also, I'm calling all wrestlers by their rings name to save some confusion.**

**Thanks goes to**_ StoryLover82, emma, and 1 crazy brunette goddess._ **Your reviews were lovely.**

I walk out of the hotel with my bags rolling behind me. Seth, Roman, and Dean were waiting for me in the parking lot. They already had the trunk open so I could load my luggage in. We would be leaving directly after the signing to start on the I was actually very excited for. I had only ever been to two other states in my whole entire life.

"Morning." Roman smiles as he helps me get my many bags in the car. Each guy only had one suitcase while I had 2 large suitcases plus 3 duffle bags.

Roman notices this and raises his eyebrows at me.

"What?" I ask "I don't travel lightly."

"Or maybe it's just because you are a woman." He says chuckling lightly.

"Shut up." I say rolling my green eyes.

"I'll let you have the passenger seat. I'll sit with Dean in the back." He says warily. It must be obvious to everyone that Dean and I do not enjoy each other. I was still forced to sit in front of him. I just prayed he wouldn't do anything childish like pull my hair.

I buckle my seatbelt and get situated in the seat. The press conference was only twenty minutes away.

"What's in the bag, Elle?" Seth asks gesturing to the medium sized bag in my lap. The question seemed to have spiked the interest of the other 2 members in the car.

"Calm down, boys. It's just my camera." I say pulling the camera out of its bag as proof.

The camera was literally my life. Some people's life was their family or even their pet. Mine was the incredible device that I held in my lap. The camera could capture the good memories and then I could look back at them when I was having a bad day. The thought was comforting.

**~x~**

We arrive at the place where the press conference is being held by eight. Right on time. The guys are sent backstage until the press conference starts, and the people running it give me a pass for a seat on the front row.

For about ten minutes there is a lot of hustle and bustle. I seem to be the only calm one in a twenty feet radius.

Once the guys come out onto the stage and take their seats everyone settles down. I make sure to capture a couple pictures of them coming in. Seth comes in first, then Dean, with Roman to the left of him. My seat is somehow directly in front of Dean, and his eyes practically burn holes in my head. I knew I wouldn't be sitting there long though. Once I really got into the pictures I was trying to take I wouldn't be able to sit still.

I take a couple pictures from my original seat in front of Dean. And surprisingly enough, he's a natural. He doesn't even pay any attention to me. Which is what I want for this assignment.

Then I make my way to the front of Roman's side of the table and crouch down. He makes direct eye contact with me and the camera, and even poses with a smile on his face. I shake my head at him, sadly Roman is not a natural in front of the camera. Well, not a natural for the types of photos I was taking. Most people's reaction when they see a camera is to smile. I didn't want these pictures to come off as staged though.

"Act natural. Pretend I'm not here." I mouth at him. He gives me an almost unnoticeable nod.

After getting plenty of pictures at Roman's side, I go down by Seth's side.

Unlike Roman, when I tell Seth to act natural he does the complete opposite. Instead he gives me the average teenage girl duckface. I can't even pretend that it's not damn hilarious.

The whole time that Seth and I were making horrible derp faces at each other, we fail to realize that a man at the press conference had just asked Seth a question. That is until Dean claps him on the back a bit too roughly. Neither of us can fight the blood that rushes to our cheeks due to being caught.

Dean seems exceptionally angry at the both of us. Well, he's been angry at me since I first met him. What's new, right?

**~x~**

The guys manage to wrap everything up at the press conference by twelve, and we begin to make our way to the signing. The car is eerily quiet. I expect a blowup soon enough.

"What the hell was that?" Dean says suddenly. Ah, there's the blowup I was looking for.

"Elle and I were just trying to entertain ourselves." Seth answers.

Dean scoffs "Sure. How about the next time you guys save the bedroom eyes for oh, I don't know. The BEDROOM."

I sigh heavily. Yes, I could come up with a thousand retorts but I decide against it. Instead I do what my Gram always told me to do. Keep my pretty little mouth shut.

**~x~**

We have to go through the back entrance of the place where the signing is held, because there were so many fans lined up outside the front and security was sure the guys would get mobbed.

The guys settle into their seats in the same order the were at the press conference. The fans would be coming in at Seth's side and exiting at Roman's.

I settle with a spot a couple feet away from Roman's side of the table. Deciding I would get the best shots from that angle.

More and more fans pour in and I continue to get good shots. As more fans pass by me I can't help but notice the glares aimed towards me. It was mostly the female fans. They obviously took after one of their favorite wrestlers when it came to glaring at people for no reason.

Getting fed up, I finally snap at one of them. She was a petite blonde girl, no more than eighteen years old.

"Do you have a problem?" I ask rudely.

"Yes, it's you." She says just as rude back to me.

"Me? What could I have possibly done to you? I don't even fucking know you. I don't fucking know any of you." I say glancing over her head at the steady amount of fans that continue to come in the door.

"We think something's going on with you and one of the members of The Shield. You were at the press conference this morning and at dinner with them last bets are on Seth. He's my baby, so you better watch out. "

I laugh bitterly. "So you guys keep glaring at me because you think I'm dating one of the guys? How mature of you. How did you even know where we were?"

"We have our ways, Elle."

"How do you know my name? You girls are creepy as fuck."

"The ways, Elle. The ways." She says creepily before walking away. I continue to take pictures, ignoring each fan that glares at me as they pass.

**~x~**

As the last of the fans file out of the door, I pack up my camera and film. My day had surely been interesting.

The seating in the car remains the same. We make a quick pit stop at a gas station before starting our drive straight into Pennsylvania. We had a live Raw show tomorrow night, and then a Smackdown taping on Tuesday. Wednesday was full of media. Thursday and Friday were the days we would use to travel to St. Louis for Extreme Rules. Which would take at least 12 hours, depending if we decided to drive the whole way through or not. I wasn't sure if I could last that long in a car with these three for that long.

Thankfully, it was only three hours from Stamford to Pennsylvania. Doing the math in my head I suspected to get there by six o'clock.

Hopefully, when we got there I could have some alone time. There were a couple things I needed to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:/ This is the longest chapter yet. But quality over quanity. And I don't think this is very high quality..**

**Anyways, Thanks goes to **_DeeMarie426, nic-002001, 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, and Emma._** Your reviews make my day!**

Right on time, we pull into the hotel parking lot at 6:01.

I look up at the hotel and I'm awestruck. The only way to describe the hotel was grand. It looked to be thirty stories high and entirely made of a blue glass.

"It's amazing isn't it? I remember when we first booked a hotel like this. Not coming from money, I thought it was one of the greatest things I had ever seen. I still haven't got used to it." Dean says standing beside me also looking up at the hotel.

"I'm sorry, Dean. Are you actually trying to be civil with me?" I ask incredulously.

"Well, I was trying. But you only want to be a bitch."

"Yeah, and you only want to be an asshole."

He scoffs at me "Whatever." Then with that he turns on his heels and walks away with his luggage in tow.

I sigh to myself. Was I being a bitch? Dean hadn't done anything to me. I mean, sure, he wasn't the welcoming committee but he wasn't too bad. He hadn't really said anything offensive to me. There was that one prostitution joke, and outburst at me and Seth, and then a couple glares. Nothing more. And he had just tried to be nice to me. Maybe I should try too.

I shake my thoughts away as Seth, Roman, and I go inside to get checked in. Seth and Roman were in the room across from me, while Dean had the room next to mine. Seth had said that Deam preferred to room alone just in case he brought back any 'conquests' from his nights out. I just hoped that if he happened to bring one back to his room that they weren't incredibly vocal.

**~x~**

It was around 9 o'clock when all three of my companions left the hotel. Seth and Roman had went out for Chinese , and Dean had come by my room about an hour ago to see if I had wanted to accompany him to a night out. I had politely declined.

Now I had wished I didn't. A rum and coke was calling my name. The editing I had to do from the pictures I had taken was giving me a headache. Who knew Seth Rollins was capable of so many red eyes shots? At one point I had gotten so bored I gave each member an edited on mustache. They resembled Cody Rhodes a bit. I got a kick out of that.

Deciding I had had enough of editing for the night, I chose to give Katherine a call.

"Elle! I knew I would be getting a call from you soon enough! I must be physic!" She giggles girlishly.

"You must be, Kat. I just wanted to thank you for referring me to Stephanie. This may be my big break!"

"Well you deserve it, Elle. When I saw the pictures you got from the French's wedding, I knew you were brilliant!"

"Thanks, Kat." I say sincerely.

"Um. Do you know why Dean hasn't called me? It's been a couple weeks. Did he lose my number?"

"I..Uh. I don't know, Kat. Dean and I… We don't really get along."

"Oh? What a shame. He is perfection in bed. So rough. Almost animalistic. I would love to experience it again. That is why I need him to call me. He did this one great thing with his-"

"Kay, Kat. Thanks for suggesting me to Stephanie, and that lovely information about how Dean is in bed." I hang up on her without even giving her a chance to respond.

Glancing at the clock that read 10:19, I knew that I should probably be getting to sleep. The guys wanted to get to the gym early in the morning and I wanted to get some pictures of them working out for the female fans they had. No matter how crazy they were, I considered it to be a favor from one female to another.

Having nothing else to do I log onto Tumblr. Sadly, at the age of 26 I still had one. While it was sad, I was not ashamed. It was there that I kept myself up to date on all the things that happened in the WWE. Or maybe I just liked to scroll through pictures of CM Punk. Sue me.

Doing something I rarely did, I decided to got threw The Shield tag. I was actually surprised to see pictures from the signing that had happened earlier today. Then all the sudden pictures of me standing towards the side of Roman were the only thing I could see in the tag. The comments on the pictures were actually quite hilarious to read.

'_Who's this?'_

'_Bitch better back up'_

'_omg look at her butt'_

'_She confronted me at the signing today' _Ah. The petite blonde I got bitchy at earlier. I decided to click on her url. What followed made it harder for me to take her seriously. Her bio read _my name's Anna and I will marry Seth Rollins and be the mother of his children._

Yes, I may have had obsessions with my favorite wrestlers but I never pretended I was going to marry one of them. A chance of that happening was one in a million. But at the moment it looked like I had a better chance than Anna.

Continuing to scroll over various theories of who I was, was starting to get old, so I decided to get off my laptop for the night.

Snuggling deep into the comforter, I close my eyes. They shoot back open when I hear the door next to mine open and close.

"Strip and lay down on the bed, sweetheart." A voice that sounded undeniably like Deans orders. Jesus Christ, these walls were thin.

Many 'oh deans', moans, and grunts followed afterwards. Cringing, I covered my ears. It was as I couldn't escape the sounds of pleasure that came from the room next to me. I tried to close my eyes, but each time I was even close to falling asleep, another loud moan would wake me. Dean's 'conquest' was exactly what I had prayed she wouldn't be. Vocal.

**~x~**

Somehow the night before I had managed to fall asleep.

At the moment, I was preparing to go to the gym with the guys. I, of course would not be working out, but I had no idea what to wear. Should I put on gym clothes to keep up appearances? Or should I dress as I normally did? I decided that going a little more casual than I usually did would be fine. I pull on an old Ramones shirt with a pair of faded skinny jeans. Slipping on my vans, I give myself the once over. Deciding I was decent enough I make my way down to the hotel gym.

Walking into the door of the gym, I immediately regret the choice of jeans. The atmosphere was incredibly hot and sweaty and I was not enjoying it one bit.

"Elle, over here!" Seth calls. My eyes find him. My eyes find all of them. I would be lying if I said I wasn't slightly turned on. They were all running the treadmills together. And they were sweaty. And shirtless. Sweaty and shirtless was a dangerous combination.

Seth had slowed down his treadmill to a walking pace so he could speak to me.

"Morning, is there anything in particular you want us to do?" He asks glancing down at the camera I held firmly in my hands.

"No. Just do what you would normally do." I say trying to keep my eyes locked on his.

He nods and he turns his treadmill back up. I get a lot of different shots, and I was sure I would need to take a cold shower after I was done here.

"Me and Roman are going to get some water. Do you guys want anything?" Seth asks looking towards me and Dean.

"Nah, man. I'm fine. Elle?"

"I'm good, thanks." I say smiling. Seth and Roman walk towards the exit of the gym and out into the hallway.

"Elle, spot me?" Dean asks. Even though it sounds more like a demand.

I nod as I follow him to the weight bench. He lays down on it, and I stand at the his head. I'm not sure if it's a good time to be taking pictures or not. Shrugging to myself, I take one anyway.

He looks up at me from his spot on the bench, and I just shrug.

"What am I supposed to do if you accidently drop that?" I ask eyeing the weight warily.

"You try to catch it before it kills me." He says as it's the most obvious thing in the world. And perhaps it is.

"Please, with these spaghetti arms?"

He laughs at me, and we fall into a comfortable conversation. As he continues to lift the weight I can't help but stare at his bulging arm muscles.

"Are you excited for your first live show tonight?"

"Yes! It has always been one of my dreams to go to a live show."

He smiles. "I'm glad you get your dream come true then."

I give a small smile, and when he sits back up I say

"I'm sorry. I've been a bitch to you." He looks surprised at my apology.

"I'm sorry, too." He says.

"It's okay, you're not as bad as I thought."

He chuckles. "I know that you were just trying to hide your feelings for me with anger."

"Excuse me?" I say shocked. He stands up and moves closer to me. He runs his hands along my sides, and leans down so his mouth is level with my ear.

"Admit you like me, Elle." He whispers.

I put my hands on his chest pushing him away.

"No, Dean. I don't like you. I was just trying to be friendly."

He tightens the hold on my waist, and it's almost painful.

"Yes, Elle." He mocks me "You do like me. And if you don't, you will soon enough. I'll make you." He says coldly before pushing himself of me and stalking out the door.

What the hell?

**~x~**

"The schedule says we'll be coming down these sets of stairs. And seats A15, and D15 are open. Vince says whichever you think you'll get the best shots from you can have." Roman says. He was giving me the grand tour of the arena where Raw would be at.

"Which one are you more likely to pause at?"

"D15, most likely. "

"D15 it is" I smile. The show didn't start for another two hours. And I had no idea what I was supposed to do for another two hours.

"Do you want me to take you backstage?" He asks suddenly. I can practically feel my eyes widening.

"Can you do that?" I almost squeal. He rolls his eyes before dragging me by the wrist backstage.

The first person Roman spots that he says is actually worth meeting is CM Punk. When we approach him I almost pee myself from excitement.

"Who's the chick?" He asks gruffly. His tongue playing with his lip ring.

"I'm Elle. I'm temporarily part of the staff for WWE magazine."

He nods, and the three of us fall into an easy conversation, until Punk says he has to meet someone in catering. There wasn't even a reason for him to be here tonight. He had been off since a couple days after WrestleMania. He had just came to see some friends.

"Roman" I sigh "I think I may need to change my panties." His booming laughter echoes through the now empty hallways of the arena.

We continue to walk around the arena aimlessly, until he says he has to get ready. He leads me back to my seat before rushing to get changed for the show.

**~x~**

"Oh my god! That was amazing!" I exclaim as I meet the guys backstage after the show.

"We're glad you liked it." Seth says.

"Liked it? I loved it!" I felt like nothing could get me off this high I got from seeing Raw live for the first time. Not even Dean glaring at me. Yes, he was back to that. I got the feeling it would always be two steps forward and one step back with us.

Shaking my head to get rid of my thoughts, I bid the guys goodnight before making my way to the hotel.

Tomorrow, the guys had one media appearance to make, and then they were off the rest of the day. Then Wednesday we would start traveling to get to Extreme Rules. It may not have been WrestleMania, but if going to a live paper view was anything like a Raw show, I don't know how I am going handle myself.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:/ Hey guys. This chapter is shorter, but it's my favorite. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed writing it. And it gets kind of depressing because. Well. You'll see. And you really need to look up the project I mention. **

**And I would just like to thank a guest reviewer that corrected me on my spelling of Pay Per View. I didn't realize I was spelling it wrong, because Microsoft was not correcting me.**

**Even more thanks goes to **_1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, MissAmieB, StoryLover82, and KayNicole90!_** Your reviews make this process a little bit faster!**

I watch as the scenery passes by me as I stare out the window. I felt like I had been in the car for seven hours, and in reality it had only been two. I was sitting in the passenger seat next to Roman, Dean sat behind me and Seth was beside him.

I seemed to be the only one bored out of my mind. Seth and Roman were talking about the match they had on Sunday, and Dean was engrossed in his IPod. I had brought a book to read, anticipating that I would get bored. I just couldn't get into it. It seemed as if I had to read each paragraph three times before actually understanding it.

Sighing, I glance at the clock on the dash, 8:40. I figured Roman would drive for another four hours before stopping at a hotel for the night. Then bright and early tomorrow morning, we would continue our drive to St. Louis.

Trying to stretch my legs a little, I say "Can one of you reach over and grab my laptop case? It should be on the top."

"Sure thing, Sunshine." Dean says. It seemed that the conversation we had at the gym was forgotten, and we were back to being somewhat civil to one another.

"What did I tell you about that nickname?" I say gruffly, grabbing my laptop from him.

"I don't care what you told me about it. It's what I call you. Deal with it." I roll my eyes playfully at him. I didn't understand the nickname. I was hardly a ray of sunshine. My personality was hard to get along with and I had a short temper.

I open up Photoshop on my computer, and begin editing the pictures I got from RAW the other night. I still couldn't believe how much fun I had had at the show. I could only hope that when I was done with the magazine I would be able to go to another show.

Again, I found myself bored with Photoshop. So, I decide to take a close-up I got of Roman and edit it. Using the liquify tool, I give him bug eyes. Then I enlarge his nose, and shrink his mouth. The finished product makes me laugh quietly to myself.

"What are you laughing at?" Roman asks. When I show him he just crinkles his eyebrows and looks back-in-forth between me and the picture. I'm almost positive he does not find my antics amusing. The two other guys catch sight of my work and they too laugh their asses off.

We continue to play with Photoshop for a little while until they try to find a picture of me to edit.

"No, no guys. Time to put Photoshop away." I say hurriedly. They sigh but agree anyway. Putting my laptop away, Seth says "Elle, I feel like we don't know enough about you."

"What? You guys know plenty about me."

"Not really," Dean say "We know you are from Connecticut, your father died, your mom is an alcoholic, and that you don't like to be called sunshine." He says smirking.

"Well, what do you want to know?" I ask.

All three of them blurt out different questions at the same time.

"How about we do this in an orderly fashion, yeah? Roman, what's your question?"

"Favorite movie?"

"Easy. Any Disney movie. I grew up on them. Seth?"

"Any tattoos?" He questions.

"Yes, actually. They are usually hidden though."

"Except for the arrow behind your ear." Dean says.

I look at him. "Yeah, except for that one." I say surprised that he even noticed it. My long hair usually covered it.

"I seen it once when you tucked your hair behind your ear. What's it mean?" He says as if he can read my mind.

"It reminds me that I have to be pulled backwards to fly forwards. Difficulties in my life will pull me back but I have to remember it's only to shoot me into something new." I say rubbing the tattoo behind my ear aimlessly.

"That's some deep shit." Seth says seriously. "What other ones do you have?"

"I have a bird right here." I say pulling down the sleeve of my shirt to expose the bird on my shoulder blade.

"I got it because my dad would always call me a free bird, so it's kind of a remembrance to him. Then I have 'Spread your wings' underneath my boob. It was what my Gram would always tell me, so it's a remembrance of her.

"Can you show me?" Dean asks cheekily.

"No, and if I could reach you I would hit you." I say craning my neck to glare at him.

"Do you want me to hit him for you?" Seth asks.

"Yes, please." The both of them play fight in the backseat until Roman tells them to settle down. Roman, I had come to realize, was the one that was forced to keep them in check. He was the most level headed.

"Do you have anymore?" Seth asks after letting Dean out of a headlock.

"Yeah, I have one right here." I say pointing to the side of my ribcage. "It says 'if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself get a better mirror'. It's a quote from Shane Koyczan. He did this project called the To This Day Project. It's a lovely thing. The message is spot on. I was one of those kids in middle school, and a few years in high school that got bullied."

"Why did they bully you?"

"I was different. That's the only reason anyone bullies anyone. And it didn't help I was 5'1 and weighed almost 200 pounds." I say almost whispering.

"Really? 200 pounds? But you're so tiny now." Seth says in disbelief.

"Yeah, I…Uh. I became anorexic." The car gets eerily quiet. Not many people knew that about me. Just my Gram and my Mom. Granted I did not have many friends who I could tell.

"Do you…uh still do it?" Seth asks awkwardly.

"Not recently." I say trying to swallow the lump growing in my throat. The conversation was getting a bit too heavy for me. There's another long silence. I can't believe I just told guys who I had known for a little less than a week a major secret that I kept.

"You don't need to feel that way about yourself, you know." Seth says. "That you're not beautiful, I mean. Because you are. You have that special kind of beauty that can light up a room when you walk into it. And if you can't see that, then I guess you need to get a better mirror." He says reaching over to put a hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Seth." I say, my voice cracking slightly. I don't think I had ever felt so vulnerable in my life. I had just completely exposed my darkest secret to three men. Two of which hadn't said anything since I made the confession. Did they think I was weak because I didn't go to the gym like they did to get fit? Did they suddenly look down to me because of my confession?

"How about some music?" I say turning the radio on, trying to fill the car with something other than silence.

**~x~**

"Elle, Elle." Someone say shaking me from my sleep.

"Hm, what?" I say with a yawn, realizing the person shaking me was Dean.

"We're stopping at a hotel for the night." He says.

"Oh." I say not moving from my seat in the car.

"Well, are you coming?" He questions.

"No."

"What?" He asks incredulously.

"Too tired." I mumble.

"Well, you can't just stay in the car all night. Your back will hurt like a bitch in the morning."

"Carry me?" I ask, without even realizing what I was asking.

"As you wish, Sunshine." He says. I'm too tired to even hit him for calling me Sunshine again.

Slowly, I start to fall back asleep. You would think that being carried would be uncomfortable, but it was more comfortable than the car, I had to admit.

"Okay, Elle. You're in your room. Do you want to change out of your clothes and into your pajamas?" Dean asks. I would roll my eyes at him if I had the energy to. I was in a T-shirt an Soffe shorts. How much more pajama-like could you get?

Taking my silence as a no, Dean pulls the covers back and places me in the bed.

I can vaguely feel him tucking the comforter underneath me, and leaning in to place a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"You're perfect to me, Elle." He whispers. And with that he leaves my bedside and is out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:/ Hey guys. Sorry it took me longer than usual to update. I would just like to point out that this story has had more than 1,000 people view at it. And to me that is absolutely astonishing. On my old account my stories only got like 30 views a month. I guess I was just in the wrong fandom…**

**Did you guys get Payback? I was so happy to see the guys retain their titles and Punk's return! I do feel bad for Dolph though. He was pitiful and it made me want to hug him. I felt bad for Kaitlyn but I was happy for AJ nonetheless. I just really hope she changes that ugly ass belt.**

**Anyway. Thanks goes to **_janiebella, 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, StoryLover82, DeeMarie426, Nemesis109, nic-002001, MissAmieB, and lilywhite25. _**Glad you liked the chapter as much as I did!**

I'm roused from my peaceful sleep due to a knocking on my door. The knocking soon becomes persistent.

"I'm coming. Give me a minute would you?" I say pushing the covers off and walking over to the door. Opening it, seeing Seth, Roman, and Dean. The sight of them puts a sleepy smile on my face.

"Morning, guys. What can I possibly do for you this morning?"

"Actually, afternoon." Dean corrects me, showing me the time on his phone, 12:46. We were supposed to have left the hotel at eight o'clock this morning.

"Shit. Why didn't you guys wake me up?" I ask.

"Well, last night when I brought you to your room, you were too tired to even function. We thought we would let you sleep in." He answers.

"And besides, it's only Thursday. We aren't required to be at the arena until Saturday." Roman says speaking up.

"I know. I still feel bad though."

"Why don't you go to lunch with us to make up for it?" Roman asks. I look down at my attire with much disdain.

"We'll give you time to get ready." Roman says rolling his eyes at me.

"Okay! I'll meet you guys in the lobby in about twenty minutes?"

"Sure, and we'll start back on the road after lunch, alright?"

"Sure."

**~x~**

"What do they have to eat here?" I ask Seth as we walk into what looks like a diner.

"I don't know. Pancakes, maybe tacos and hotdogs?" He says.

"It's like a Waffle House." Roman says "They have one in my hometown."

We get in the small diner and find a table for four. I sit by Dean, and Seth and Roman sit in front of us. Having Dean in such a close proximity was slightly awkward, but I could get used to it. It wasn't like I hadn't anything to worry about. We were barley acquaintances.

The waiter that comes to take our order is a blonde man that looks in his late twenties. I was ashamed to say he was still going through the faze of wearing only Hollister clothes. But he was cute in an odd way. But he wasn't my type. My type was more of a roguishly handsome man.

Once he takes the guys orders he looks me up and down. Well, the best he could due to the fact I was sitting.

"And what can I get for you beautiful?" It makes uncomfortable that he wouldn't make eye contact with me, and instead he would stare down at my breasts. He could've at least tried to be subtle. Once he finally left I let out a breath.

He returns shortly after putting our orders in. Sadly.

"So, babe. Are you from around here? Don't believe I've seen you before and it's a pretty small town." He says trying to be suave leaning against the table.

"Uh, no. I'm from Connecticut."

"How long ya in town for?" He asks waggling is eyebrows. It makes him look crazy instead of attractive.

"About another hour."

"Oh. Well. I could always show you a good time real fast. My break is in ten minutes." He says sending an awkward wink my way. It looked more like an eye twitch. I try not to show my disgust.

"Sorry, man. She'll have to decline. I'm the only one that gets to show her a good time. And if you speak to her or even look at her again I'll rip your arms of your body." Dean says as he slings an arm around my shoulder. Seth and Roman stare at him like he's grown another head. I would too if I didn't have to play along.

"Yeah, and I'm sure Dean pleases me more than you ever could." I say letting the disgust drip from my tone. Andy looks at us with wide eyes and blushing cheeks.

"I'm…uh. Sorry."

"Just get lost kid." Andy nods and quickly rushes away. He even gives our table to one of his female co-workers. Dean must have really scared the shit out of him.

"Thanks so much Dean." I say looking up at him with a smile.

He shrugs. "No big deal. I knew you were uncomfortable." He says with his arm still around me. Lately, I could notice a change in Dean's mood towards to me. I couldn't tell if it was because he was being genuine or trying to make me like him like he said I would.

Soon, our meal comes and we all have a comfortable conversation while eating.

**~x~**

"I spy something purple." I say. The guys and I had been on the road for 3 hours since we left the diner. We had decided to play a friendly game of 'I spy'. We had been playing the game for almost thirty minutes, which seemed impossible to do in a car that was always moving, but we made it happen.

The guys continue to guess it but they're wrong each time.

"I'm bored." I say interrupting Roman's guess.

"What do you expect us to do about that?" Seth asks.

"I don't know. Entertain me, minions." I say.

"Minions? We are not your minions. We are The Shield. The hounds of justice."

"Yeah, yeah." I say.

"Speaking of being The Shield, we have something for you." Dean says reaching behind the seat to grab a white plastic bag with the WWE logo on it. When it hands it to me I quickly open it. I smile at the black shirt that says 'The Shield' on it. I don't say anything for awhile.

"If you don't like it we can take it back or…" Dean starts.

"No, no. It's lovely. I love it. Thank you so much! I'll have to wear it to the show on Sunday." I say grinning from ear-to-ear. I don't think they really understood how much the shirt meant to me. It felt like they were accepting me. I hadn't felt acceptance since before my Gram died. Despite all my problems she loved me. After she passed away I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. I may have only known them for a little less than a week but they were slowly starting to feel like family. And I had been missing a family.

I'm brought out of my deep thinking by a deep rumbling sound.

"What was that?" I ask worriedly

"Thunder. They don't have thunderstorms in Connecticut?" Dean asks sarcastically.

"Yes, but-" I'm interrupted by a bright flask of lightening across the sky. I yelp from seeing the bright flash, it looked so close.

"Elle, are you okay?" Seth questions me as huge droplets of water start hitting the windshield.

"I…I…" I try to from coherent sentences, but my breathing was getting shallower. All I could do was start straight ahead at the storm we were driving into.

"Roman…I'm going to…need you…to pull over." I say between breaths, still staring ahead wide-eyed.

"What? Elle, why? Are you okay?" I'm not even sane enough to tell him it's a stupid question.

"Please, Roman." I plead, feeling the tears spring into my eyes.

"Elle, we are making such great time though." As he reasons with me, another roll of thunder sounds, and the raindrops become even heavier, making it hard to see more than five feet in front of us.

"ROMAN, PLEASE!" I shout. At the sound of my shouting he quickly pulls over on the side of the road. As soon as the car is pulled over, I pull my knees up to my chest and continue to stare straight ahead.

I can vaguely hear the guys talking in the background.

"What do we do?"

"It's obvious it's the storm but we can't exactly stop it."

"Should we talk to her about it?"

Silence.

"Elle. Do you want to talk about something, maybe the storm?" Seth asks.

I don't even register what he says before I start talking.

"It's how my Dad died. Driving during a storm. I've had a fear of them ever since. I remember my five year old self telling my Dad pull over. My father was never a daredevil, you have to understand that. That's probably the most vivid part of my childhood, spinning out of control and into a ditch." I rant on and on about the accident and the death of my father. Thankfully the guys just listen to me. They don't interrupt me or anything.

That is until I start breaking down into hysterics at the end of my ranting. That's when they make me switch seats with Seth, and sit me in the back with Dean. All he does it hold me while I cry. He traces soothing circles on my back while I bury my head into his chest.

"Elle, is it okay if I start driving again?" Roman asks warily.

"Yeah, if it starts again I'll just hide my eyes." I say, still sniffling. Soon enough, the engine roars back to life and we are on the road again.

I had never felt so ashamed in my life. I had become so vulnerable to these three guys. Yes, they felt like family but I had never exposed myself to someone so much before. I prayed they couldn't see how broken I really was.

"Do you think I'm weak?" I whisper to Dean, so only we could hear. He looks at me like I'm crazy. And perhaps I am.

"No, I think you're the strongest woman I've ever met. You've been through so much but you're still standing." He says just as quietly.

I give him a soft smile. Our relationship had taken a complete 180 since we met.

"Thanks, Dean."

"Anytime, Sunshine." He says before kissing my forehead just like he had done the night before.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys. Here's the next chapter. And I would like to say that I know during Extreme Rules that Dean wrestled before Seth and Roman, but for the sake of this story he did not.**

**Thanks go to **_1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, MissAmieB, nic-002001, KayNicole90, DeeMarie426, StoryLover82, SiennaS, and ANABELLE. _**Your reviews make my day!**

"1, 2, 3!"

"Your winner and new United States Champion, Dean Ambrose!"

A big smile spreads across my face. I didn't think a smile as big as mine was even possible.

Soon the other members of The Shield join him in the middle of the ring; they all jump around and celebrate in the ring for a while. I smile even wider as I get shots of them celebrating. Somehow I manage to catch Dean's eye from the first row. He winks at me and I beam back at him. I was so proud of them. Even though, I knew it was scripted for them to win, they had all looked amazing in the ring. Seth, Roman, and Dean all held their belts high in the air, and I get another shot. Tonight, I knew had gotten many wonderful shots.

They made their way backstage after celebrating for a bit. The smiles they had on their faces mirrored my own.

I make the decision to follow them, not to close though; I could guarantee the cameras were still on the successful stable. I felt bad that I would be missing the rest of the Pay Per View, considering I had been so excited about it. I knew they had monitors backstage I could continue watching the show on, though.

Showing the man my pass, he ushers me backstage. I make my way to catering knowing that was where Dean went after all of his matches. I immediately spot him, filling his plate.

"Well, hey there champ." I say sitting my camera on a table not too far from where I stood.

Dean smiles at me. In his eyes I can see how proud he is of himself and Roman and Seth.

"You did great out there, you all did. I got some really good shots." I say gesturing to my camera that doesn't sit too far away.

"Do you want to hold it?" He asks, looking at the belt that was slung over his shoulder.

"The belt? Oh I-I could never…" I trail off, eyeing the belt warily. He shoves it into my hands. I stare down at the belt with a small smile.

"My name will be on the plate soon." He says pointing to the name plate that currently says 'Kofi Kingston'.

"I'm so proud of you, and the other guys aswell." I say smiling up at him. I don't think I had stopped smiling since the night began. He looks down at me with a grin, and throws his arm around me. He begins to say something, until we are interrupted by a small clicking sound.

"How cute." Seth says holding my camera, with Roman standing behind him. They both have matching smirks on their faces, and matching belts thrown over their shoulder.

"I'm proud of you guys too, no need to be jealous." I say shrugging Dean's arm off my shoulder and walking a mere seven steps to where they stand. I give them congratulations and they thank me. All four of us fall into a comfortable conversation before they disappear to go shower and change.

"We'll meet you back in your room, maybe order room service and watch a movie?"

"Okay." I say nodding before walking out and to my car to go back to the hotel.

**~x~**

"Elle?" There is a knocking on my door, opening it; I am faced with Dean, Seth, and Roman. It's not like I didn't expect them.

"I thought we were staying in?" I ask, eyeing their nice clothing and then looking down at my long T-shirt and black leggings.

"We were…be some of the other guys are going out to celebrate." Seth says.

"Oh." I say my tone deflated.

"You're invited if you want. Mike invited you. I think he likes you." Dean says, and I'm not sure if I hear a hint of jealousy or if I'm imagining things.

"Oh?" I ask tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "That's sweet, I guess. But I'm going to have to decline. I feel a migraine coming on." I say trying not to let the disappointment show in my voice.

"Do you want us to stay with you? We don't have to go." Seth says worriedly.

"No, no. You guys go. It's your time to celebrate." I say with the smallest of smiles.

"Are you positive?"

"Yes," I nod. "Go have fun. Don't stay out too long, Seth. We have an early flight to Buffalo in the morning."

"Yes, ma'am." He says saluting me.

I roll my eyes at him, bidding them goodbye. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. This was going to be the last night the three of us had together. Ever. I was with Seth next week, then Dean, then Roman. We would be together at shows during the week but that would be it. After my week with Roman, there would be a release party for the magazine and that would be it. I would have to pack my bags and return to Connecticut.

Sighing I flop down on the bed and turn on a movie.

**~x~**

"Ellllleeeeeeeeeeee!" Someone sing-songs from behind the door, waking me up from my peaceful sleep.

I open up the door to reveal Dean.

"Dean?" I ask sleepily "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see your beeeauutiful face." He slurs.

"Dean. You're drunk. Go to your room." I say tiredly.

"Damn right, I'm drunk. Let me in Elle, pretty please?" He says.

I sigh opening the door wider, allowing him to come in. He goes and sits on the edge of my bed. He stares off into space for a long time.

"Dean?"

For the first time since he got in my room he makes direct eye contact with me.

"Elle. You're so pretty, and smart." He says his speech still slurring.

"Thank you, Dean." I say, my eyebrows furrowing.

"And incredibly strong emotionally. Not to say that you're not strong physically too. I'm sure that you are. Kidding. No, you're not physically strong. You have noodle arms." He says laughing at his own joke. "I wish I was strong like you. You've been through so much and you handle it so well." I'm become confused by his drunk ranting.

"Me on the other hand? I'm not strong enough. Maybe that's why I wrestle, because it makes me feel strong. I went through a lot as a child. My dad left me-by choice, not death- and my mother loved him so much it about killed her when he left. So she turned into a druggie and alcoholic. Unlike you, I didn't have a relative to keep me grounded. That's the difference between you and me, I suppose. That's why you must be so good and sweet, while I'm bad and full of anger." He says finishing his rant. When he looks at me I can see the unshed tears in his eyes. Well, they say a drunk mind reveals a sober heart.

"Oh, Dean." I say sighing. I go to stand in front of him and I put his head on my stomach. He wraps his arms tightly around my waist, like it's the only thing keeping him here.

"You are strong. And you're not a bad person. You're incredible. You go day after day holding all this in. That must take a lot out of you. It's okay to break down; no one can be strong all the time." I say running my hands through his hair.

"Maybe you should take your own advice." He says looking up at me. He's right, I realize.

For a while, I do nothing but stare into his blue eyes that still have unshed tears in them. I don't say anything about them though.

"Strip." I say quietly.

"If you think sex will make it better you're wrong. I've tried that before." He says almost angrily. I roll my eyes at him before climbing into the bed.

"I just figured you would prefer to _not _sleep in your jeans."

"What?"

"Come on." I say patting the space next to me. He quickly strips down to his underwear and gets in next to me.

"We can both be broken together." I whisper laying my head on his chest.


	8. Chapter 8

**You guys must hate me. I made the jump from updating once a day to going five days without an update. And I apologize, I've been busy with the play that I told you I was doing and practice wears me out. Lucky for you, my play will be over Saturday. And if you are wondering the play I'm doing is The Little Mermaid. **

**I also would like to plead with you to not give up the story; this chapter is not the best, longest, or most exciting. But I couldn't skip this one to get to the next one. And, today I got the July issue of WWE magazine. And guess who's on the cover? Not the Shield, but John Cena. I should've figured. **

**If you actually read this, comment 'Darling it better down where it's wetter.'**

**As always thank you goes to **_CheekyClaudine, ANABELLE, MissAmieB, nic-002001, DeeMarie426, 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, StoryLover82, KayNicole90, janiebella, and charmedbyortonbarrett _**Your reviews make me want to get off my lazy ass and actually write.**

"Morning." I say, wiping the sleep from my eyes. Dean sits with his back to the headboard smoking a cigarette. I'm pretty positive he wasn't supposed to do that in here, but I chose not to say anything.

"What time is it?" I ask sitting up and stretching.

"Quarter past seven." He says meeting my eyes for the first time this morning.

"I'm going to start packing." I say. I have to meet Seth in hotel lobby in forty minutes. Dean's eyes follow me as I go around the room stuffing things into my bag. I never have been an organized packer.

"I slept well, last night. The steady sounding of your breathing was almost like a lullaby. It was nice to sleep next to someone again." He says softly. I turn around to face him before giving him a soft smile.

"Me too. I haven't slept that good in a while."

Dean quickly puts out his cigarette in an ashtray that I didn't even know was in the room. He crosses the distance to where I stand. He places his hands gently on my hips, and he stares at me.

"Thank you." He says quietly, so quietly I'm not even sure I heard him right.

"For what?"

"You know what. I may have been drunk but I still remember how I opened up to you last night. I don't remember my exact words, but I know I've never opened up to anyone like I opened up to you." He says his eyes still boring into mine.

"There's just something about you Elle. Something that makes me what to spill every secret I've ever had. I can't explain it."

I do nothing but blink at him.

Slowly, he starts to lean in. He glances down at my lips and then back up to my eyes, with raised eyebrows. Almost as to ask for permission. I give an imperceptible nod. His lips are just centimeters from mine.

"Elle!" Someone yells from the other side of the door.

I sigh, before backing away from Dean to go answer the door.

"Seth, hey." I say.

"Are you ready?" He asks.

"Yeah…but I thought I still had awhile before I had to meet you downstairs."

"You do, but I thought we could stop by the….Dean? What are you doing here?" I turn around to see Dean standing close behind me, still in only his underwear. I could tell how horrible this obviously looked.

"Hey Seth, how's it going?" The guys exchange pleasantries and I stand there awkwardly.

"Anyway, Elle. Are you ready? I need to stop by the pharmacy; I've got a killer headache." I nod at him and gather my bags, he helps of course.

It becomes awkward again when we all stand by the door not saying a word. Seth and I with our bags, and Dean in his underwear.

"Well." I say, deciding to be the first one to speak. "I'll see you next week, Dean." I couldn't decide if I was happy or upset about that fact. We had made a breakthrough last night. I hoped that a week apart wouldn't put us right back where we started.

"Sure thing, Sunshine. I look forward to it." He says kissing me on the check, assuring me he would turn in my key card for me.

**~x~**

"So what's up with you and Dean?" Seth asks as we settle in our seats for the six hour plane ride. I couldn't say I wasn't expecting the question.

"Nothing." I reply honestly.

"Oh, please Elle. I can smell your bullshit from a mile away." Seth says shaking his head and smirking.

"Seth, it really is nothing." I say the corners of my mouth turning down.

"Well, him kissing your check and being in your room almost naked does not seem like nothing."

"He just slept there, and we talked some." I say shrugging as if it was nothing.

"Mhm. I'm _sure _that was it."

"Are you implying that we had sex? Because we didn't." I say angrily.

"No, I'm not. Don't be so defensive. I can see that you guys have a lot of chemistry-and sexual tension- and I wouldn't have been surprised if it happened."

I ignore the fact that he said Dean and I had sexual tension, and I lean my head against the window of the plane.

"I do want to warn you about Dean though. He isn't one for relationships. 'Hit it and quit it' is more of his style. That's the style of most superstars. And I get the feeling long relationships are all you've ever known…"

I wonder how Seth can know this. I had never spoken of my relationship history with any of the guys.

"Well, I must admit I am quite inexperienced in the boyfriend department. I had one boyfriend in high school and 2 in college. All 3 of them being long term. "

And the only reason I said I was inexperienced was because all the relationships were boring, and there was nothing we ever had to overcome together. They consisted of a dinner date once a week, and a text message that almost always said the same thing. After a while, they all got predictable. I knew I was a challenge but just because I was a challenge didn't mean guys had to be so safe. I just wanted excitement in my lonely life.

"I knew it. I don't think Deans ever had that except for once. And that was way back when…" He trails off. Is that what Dean meant this morning by saying 'it felt nice to sleep beside someone again'?

"She left him when his wrestling career started to take off. At least I think she did. He doesn't talk about her much."

I tilt my head, thinking about this new information. Dean hadn't mentioned a woman last night.

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't want you to get hurt. Over the last week you've become like a little sister to me and Roman."

"Wait, Roman thinks there's something going on between us too?" I ask incredulously. This is unbelievable.

"The whole roster thinks it." My eyes widen but Seth continues anyway "Dean won't stop until he gets what he wants, and then he'll cut all ties with you. It's like he just erases you from his memory. The sad thing is that he wasn't always like that…" I stare at him blankly, not sure if I should take his advice. "Just don't get attached to him to easily, okay?"

I nod. My mind wanders to what Katherine said not too long ago. He had sex with her and hasn't talked to her since. Was he trying to do the same to me?

'_And if you don't I'll make you' _the words ring in my head over and over. But then I remember the conversation we had last night. He said he had never shared that with anyone before; did that include the woman that left him because of his career?

"He's not like that with me, Seth." I say shaking my head.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what Katherine said, and the girl before her, the one before her, and so on."

I gap at him. That stung a bit.

"He's not, Seth!" I say defensively. I refuse to believe him. But I couldn't understand why. A few days ago, I would have laughed at myself for defending Dean. But now, I just felt like Dean needed someone to love him. And girls he brought back from the bar were hardly the ones to do it.

But I was beginning to think that I was.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys. So, this chapter starts of great I think, and then it dwindles down. And I apologize for that. But I did get this one out quicker than the last. **

**Also, I know I didn't go into detail about Seth's week, but this is a Dean/OC story and not a Dean/OC/Seth story. If it was I would've have included it. And I'm sorry if it feels like this is moving too fast. I'm nowhere near the end and this is only a minor conflict in the story.**

**If you actually read this comment 'I got Dean's face tattooed on my butt.'**

**As always, I would like to thank** _starxhearts23, dude-where's-the-pie, Em, DeeMarie426, 1 Crazy Burnette Goddess, MissAmieB, nic-002001, KayNicole90, janiebella, and lilywhite25 _**You guys are amazing!**

My week with Seth passed quickly. It consisted of many personal shots that would allow the readers of the magazine to really get to know Seth without invading his privacy. I knew that Seth's section, and The Shield's section as a whole would be fabulous. I wasn't too worried about Roman's section either. Dean's section was a different story. It wasn't so much his pictures I was worried about. It was the week I had to spend with him. I figured worst case scenario would be him having a girl over all the time and having to be forced to get pictures of _that._

Currently, I was at baggage claim in Cincinnati. Dean had managed to get in touch with me, telling me he would be waiting at the airport.

Getting past the airport security, I immediately spot Dean. The sight of him causes a huge smile to break across my face. He stands in dark colored jeans, a black T-shirt, and a baseball cap. In his hands he holds a sign that reads 'Eleanor Jensen/Sunshine' in a messy scrawl.

"Is that necessary?" I say trying to sound annoyed, I fail miserably.

"Just didn't want you to get lost and go off with another guy." He says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes at him and he helps me roll my suitcases to his car that waits outside the airport.

We ride in silence, and I notice how concentrated Dean is while he drives. He his are firmly planted on the ten and two, and his tongue pokes out the side of his mouth cutely. I quickly grab my camera that sits in my lap and take a quick picture. At the sound of my camera going off he snaps his head towards me.

"What was that for?" He asks, his eyebrows furrowing.

"It was too cute not to get on camera." I say shrugging.

"So, you think I'm cute?" He says, a cheeky grin spreading across his face.

"What? No, I never said that." I say, praying that my cheeks aren't blushing.

"Yeah, you did. You said 'It was too cute not to get on camera'."

"Yes, I did say that. But I didn't say _you_ were cute." I say, with a roll of my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we are here."

At his words I turn my head to look outside the window. I see a two-story white house with tan shutters. It wasn't too fancy, but it was a nice house. You could tell that a man lived there due to the non-existent flowers or plants.

The inside of the house makes it even more obvious that it's a man's house. It's not messy, but it's not tidy like you would expect from a house that a woman lived in. Well, a tidy woman anyway. What was surprising- or maybe not too surprising- was the plain walls. In most homes, pictures were on the walls. But I knew that Dean was close with his mother and his father left him, so it didn't surprise me that there weren't any family portraits. But didn't he have any siblings? Or what about pictures of him wrestling? The amount of blankness on the walls was almost eerie.

Choosing to ignore it I turn around to face Dean. He is looking at me expectantly.

"Well?" I ask "Aren't you going to give a tour of the rest of the house?"

He smiles at me before motioning to me to follow him.

He shows me the guest bathroom and the guest bedroom. The guest bedroom was directly across from his bedroom.

He finishes the tour and asks "So, any questions?"

"Yeah. What's for dinner?"

He rolls his eyes at me before grabbing my hand and dragging me into the kitchen.

**~x~**

Dean and I were sitting at his kitchen island while eating the pancakes and bacon he prepared for us. Somehow he managed to find out that breakfast for dinner was my favorite type of meal.

I was surprised at how well Dean and I were getting along. We hadn't snapped at each other once, and there hadn't been a relationship type moment yet. Granted, I had only been here for a couple hours.

"So, I've always wondered why you didn't become a WWE diva yourself. You know so much about the business, and you love it as much as some as the other superstars. And you seem pretty tough. I mean, I know you said you took up photography because of your Gram, but did you ever think about it before?"

"Of course, I did. I actually did some training." His eyebrows raise, but I continue. "But then I got into some skimpy ring attire, and with one look around at the other aspiring divas, I got self-conscious and I-I started making myself throw up again, which I hadn't done since sophomore year…That of course made me super weak and without energy, so I had to quit." I say, finishing quietly.

Dean grabs my hand from across the island, and his thumb runs along my palm. So much for no relationship type moments.

"Elle…Why don't you think you're beautiful?"

"I don't know" I sigh. "Each morning, I try to look in the mirror and find five things beautiful about myself, I always get stuck around three…" I trail off, praying that the lump in my throat would go away.

He sighs heavily before jumping off of his seat and leading me into the bathroom. He puts me in front of the mirror and stands behind me with his hands placed softly on my hips.

"Let me try," He whispers softly "Well, your eyes are the first thing I notice when I look at you. They're so green, and bright. They're beautiful. Then there's your smile. Can you smile for me?"

I smile meekly at him. He continues "That's beautiful. We can't forget about your hair. It looks so soft and thick. It's beautiful." He says brushing my hair back from my shoulders.

I have to fight off the tears that threaten to fall.

"Then there are your collarbones. When you show them they make you look so classy and elegant. Especially when you have a necklace on. They're beautiful. Then your personality, just to get something none physical. It's tough on the outside, but once you let somebody in you're so bubbly and sweet. That's beautiful." He says smiling at me in the mirror.

He turns me around to face him. "You're beautiful inside and out, Elle. I just wish you could see it." He says quietly while staring into my tear-filled eyes. Not being able to hold it together anymore when he looks me in the eyes, I start to sob uncontrollably.

He takes me in his arms and sits on the toilet seat. He gently rocks us back and forth until my sobs start to subside.

I lean back from his chest to look at him. "Thank you, Dean. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." I whisper, and it wasn't a lie.

"It's no problem, because it's the truth." He says. Slowly he starts to lean in, and this time there isn't a knock on the door to stop him.

His lips touch mine ever so softly, and I'm sure I taste of tears.

"Was that okay?" He asks quietly.

"Yeah." I breathe.

He nods at me before leaning in again. This kiss lasts longer than the first one.

We kiss a couple more times, before he stands up swiftly and leaves me alone in the bathroom with just a 'Goodnight, Sunshine.'

**~x~**

The week passes by and before I know it, it's the night before I leave Dean and begin my week with Roman.

After what happened the first night I was with Dean, things were different between us. It was almost like we were a couple. We held hands whenever we went anywhere, and we would always share kisses in public. Even a couple make-out sessions. But neither of us had discussed the topic of being in a relationship. That caused me to question Dean's motives. Was he being sincere? Or was he just trying to get me in his bed like Seth said he would?

Currently, I was in Dean's guest room reading a book. Dean and I had said goodnight about an hour ago, but I couldn't fall asleep. Not because I was reading, but I was confused. What would happen after my week with Roman was done, along with the release party for the magazine? Would Dean and I stay in touch? Would any of The Shield members and I stay in touch? I could only hope.

I was brought out of my thinking by a loud rumbling sound. Thinking I was hearing things I try to get back into my book. But it happens again, and I realize that outside my window a horrible storm was brewing.

I was scared shitless as the lightning sends a white flash threw the room. I swallow a yelp, careful not to wake Dean.

The storm shows no sign of stopping so I open the door to the guest room and venture to Dean's room.

"Dean." I say, knocking. I hear a shuffling behind the door before it opens revealing Dean in nothing but his underwear. Which shouldn't have been surprising, I had slept in the same bed as him before. When he catches me licking my lips he smirks at me.

"I was expecting you, Sunshine."

I roll my eyes at him before launching myself into his arms. He catches me easily and he walks us over to the bed.

I snuggle up into him for a while, until I catch his lips with my own. One thing leads to another and I somehow managed to straddle his lap.

I can still hear the storm in the background raging on.

Forgetting all about Seth's warnings, I allow myself to continue with Dean.

And let's just say he makes me completely forget about the storm.

**~x~**

I sigh contently as I walk down the stairs of Dean's house. I think last night we officially determined the relationship.

I spot him sitting at the kitchen island smoking a cigarette.

"Morning…You know you call me 'Sunshine', I need a nickname for you." I say taking a seat across from him.

"That won't be necessary." He says stonily.

"Oh, and why not?" I ask playfully.

"Look, Elle. Last night was fun, but that's all it was. Some fun." He says shrugging.

"What?" I ask, my voice dying in my throat.

"You were just a one-time thing, Sunshine. Nothing more."

I raise my eyebrows at him, refusing to believe him.

"If I was just a good fuck why did you waste so much time making me feel good about myself?"

"Because no one likes a whiny, insecure, anorexic bitch. That is what you were until I told you all that bullshit."

I try to swallow the lump in my throat but it feels like it's suffocating me. I refuse to cry in front of him though.

I open up my mouth to speak but Dean cuts me off. "I'm going out to get cigarettes, you better be gone before I come back." He says before making his way out of the kitchen and out the door.

Seth was right. Dean did anything and everything to get me to sleep with him. I had never felt so slutty in my life. I had known Dean for about 3 weeks and I had slept with him, even though I had received warnings from one of his close friends.

Knowing that Dean was gone I allow my tears to fall freely as I pack up my clothing. Even the ones scattered across Dean's bedroom floor. They were just a horrible reminder of what I had done.

I had a fleeting thought to trash Dean's house but I knew he could probably get back at me a lot worse.

Instead, I take out a framed picture that I had planned to give to him before I left. I hang the picture up on one of his many blank walls. It was the one Seth took the night of Extreme Rules. I was looking down at his belt with a smile on my face, and he was looking down at me with a matching one on his. Anyone who didn't know the situation might say that we were in love. How wrong they would be.

As a last minute thing I scribble down a note and attach it to the frame. It read

'_Dean, _

_They were right about you. I should've figured. But there was something about you that told me they were wrong, that I shouldn't believe a thing they said. And now, I regret that decision. You made me feel perfect. I remember that night when you told me I was perfect to you. Perfect to fuck that is. But, you know, it's whatever. It's done now. And after the release party I'll never have to see you again. I just…I hope you're happy Dean. I hope you got a major kick out of what you did to me. I actually thought I was gonna be the one to save you from being a whore that toyed with women's emotions. How wrong I was. Just have a nice life, Dean. Hope you don't get any STDs._

_Elle_

I didn't bother reading over the letter because I knew I had to get out of his house. I was almost positive that it didn't make sense.

Shrugging, I called a cab and tryed to get out of Cincinnati as fast as I could.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys. Hope you like this one. I don't really have much to say about it, except that it doesn't make much sense to me, but whatever.**

**My reviewers last chapter were **_ANABELLA, Dark Trickz, DeeMarie426, Em, Monica, StoryLover82, KayNicole90, 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, MissAmieB, nic-002001, Britty52, and CheekyClaudine _**You're all lovely!**

"I just don't understand. I mean, we were fine and then he just…I don't know." I sigh, taking a sip of my beer.

I was currently sitting in a bar in Roman's home town. I had been here for 3 days. Seth was here too, he had come to visit when Roman told him what happened between me and Dean. Surprisingly, I had told Roman everything about what happened between me and Dean.

"So, he just asked you to get out and you did?" Seth asks furrowing his eyebrows.

"Well, yeah. I didn't want him to get angry, and I didn't want him to see me cry over him."

"He made you cry? I'll kill him." Roman says, wringing his fists.

I look at him. "Of course, I cried. You guys know how emotional I am."

They look at each other but nod in agreement.

"So, uh…can we talk about something else? I don't even want to think about him."

"Can I ask you one more question about him?"

"I guess."

"What are you going to do when you have to see him? You have the show tomorrow and then the release party later during the week."

"Seth, that's only two days. I'm sure I can avoid him."

"Really? Not to sound rude Elle, but you only hang out with us. And Dean is usually always with us." Seth points out. It's true, I had only ever spoken to the guys and I talked to CM Punk once, but that was with Roman. I had never bothered with the rest of the roster.

"I'm sure Mike would love to keep you company." Roman smirks.

"What?" The guys had been making these passive remarks about Mike-or 'The Miz'- for a while now and it was confusing me.

"He's like in love with you, Elle."

"Oh, please. Mike hasn't ever said a word to me."

"Only because Dean scared him shitless." Roman says rolling his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Dean overheard Mike talking about you in lockeroom-"

I cut Roman off "What was he saying?"

"He was saying how beautiful you were and how he was going to ask you out for drinks or something."

"Really?" I say, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear and blushing slightly.

"Yeah, a lot of the guys would actually ask about you. But Dean would scare them away. That's why everyone thought you guys were dating."

I furrow my brows. "When was this?"

"During the beginning of your first week. When you and Dean still hated each other, that's when me and Seth got the inkling that he was up to something."

"Well, we all know what that something was." I say with a sigh looking down into my beer bottle.

Roman throws his arm around my shoulder and Seth follows suit.

"You'll be okay." Roman whispers. It's comforting, but I wish I believed it.

**~x~**

I was currently wandering around the arena for the taping of RAW, just to get familiar of my surroundings.

"Oh my god! Elle!" Someone squeals my name from behind me. I turn around to see a dark-haired girl hurling herself at me.

The girl hugs me and when see pulls back I see who it is. Katherine.

"Oh. Kat, hey." I say with not much enthusiasm at all. She goes on telling me how great I looked even though; I hadn't changed a thing about myself since I last saw her.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, even though I already knew the answer.

"Dean finally called! He apologized for not calling and all that, and now we're officially a couple!" She says her voice turning into an annoying squeal again.

"That's great!" I say putting a fake smile on my face. I was trying my hardest not blame Kat, or get rude with her. I hadn't told her about what happened between me and Dean, and I doubted that he did. It wasn't her fault he was an asshole that did everything in his power to get what he wanted, not caring who got hurt in the process.

I don't listen to her, but I make sure to nod at the appropriate moments.

"Speaking of the devil! Dean! Over here!" She says waving her had at someone-Dean- behind me.

I have to swallow all the horrible things I want to say to him when he comes over and places his arm around her shoulders.

'Control yourself' I think to myself.

"Dean." I say, trying my hardest to be civil to him.

"Elle."

"Oh, are you still not being nice to each other? I think you guys should start now. I mean, Elle you're my friend, and Dean you're my boyfriend. And you'll have to see a lot of each other."

I try not to show my confusion at Kat's words. Yeah, we were friends but we never hung out. And she seemed to have pretty high hope for her and Dean's relationship. 'Good luck' I think to myself.

Kat continues to go on about how Dean and I should be friends but I don't listen until she says

"You guys need to hug it out!" Dean smirks at me when I visibly stiffen.

I don't register what's happening until Dean walks towards me and wraps his arms around my waist. I stay stiff until Kat forcefully grabs my arms and places them around Dean's waist. He leans down, so his lips are level with my ear.

"She'll never amount to you." He whispers.

I quickly break away from him, staring into his eyes. I think I see a wave of guilt but I remind myself that Dean did this to himself and is probably not even capable of guilt. That would mean he had to care.

I bid Kat goodbye before making an excuse about having to find Seth. Which isn't really an excuse considering when I find him, I dive into his arms and cry for a good 5 minutes, explaining what had happened.

Seth had weirdly become like a gay best friend that I could tell anything too. And usually I did tell him everything.

"Hey," he whispers after my crying had subsided "Roman wants us to meet him in catering. Are you up for it?"

I nod, wiping my tears. Seth helps me up from the floor where we had taken a seat for my venting session.

**~x~**

When we arrive in catering, Roman spots us and immediately hugs me tightly. Seth must have told him what happened.

We get a table in the corner of the room, away from everyone else. We fall into an easy conversation, avoiding anything having to do with Dean.

Then the one person we were avoiding talking about walks in hand-and-hand with his new found girlfriend. Our eyes meet, and we continue to stare at each other until Kat says something bringing his attention to her.

A silence falls at our table. I'm sure Roman and Seth can tell how awkward that was. I tried to focus my eyes on something other Kat and Dean.

My eyes fall on the man at the salad bar in catering, and I smile softly.

"You know, guys, I think I'm going to get a salad." I say, standing up from the chair.

"Um. Okay." They say, but when they look over to the salad bar, and who's at it, they smile widely.

"Hey, Mike." I say while grabbing a bowl. He turns around to see who's talking to him, when he sees it's me he smiles adorably.

"Elle, how are you doing?"

"I'm well, Mike. Thanks. You?"

"I'm great, now that I'm talking to you. I don't think we've actually ever had a conversation."

I blush at his kind words.

"Dean's not going to kill me for talking to you is he? He's already glaring over here." He says looking over my head. I turn around and sure enough Dean's staring daggers at us. I roll my eyes at him before turning around to talk to Mike.

"No. Dean's not my keeper, I can do as I please and he can't do a thing about it." I huff.

We talk some more but I know we'll have to stop, considering he'll have to get ready for his match.

"You know I'd love to keep talking, but-"

"You have to get ready for you match. I figured as much." I frown.

"Well, how about we go out for drinks after the show?"

I smile. "I'd like that."

"Great." He says before kissing my cheek, and walking out of catering.

As I make my way back to Seth and Roman, I can feel Dean's eyes burning holes into my head. I couldn't understand what his problem was. He chose for it to be like this. I was more than happy to let him be the one to take me out and kiss my cheek, but he ruined that we he kicked me out of his house.

He had made his decision. Now he had to deal with it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys, here's the next chapter. I'd say it's coming along beautifully. My play is done so expect updates more frequent. **

**And I was just wondering is there a celebrity that you picture Elle as? I know I've said that she had brown hair and green eyes, so is there anyone that you imagine when reading about her. I don't really have anyone specific.**

**Also, what time zone are you guys in? I'm in Pacific but I update at odd hours of the night, but I'd be willing to update at times when people are actually up and awake.**

**Anyway. Thanks goes to** _ANABELLA,Em, nic-002001, KayNicole, DeeMarie426, 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, ghunter182003, CheekyClaudine, StoryLover82, MissAmieB, janiebella,_ **and**_ WWEFanFics _**You're all awesome!**

I stared at myself in the mirror and I had to hold myself together. I had rummaged through my closet for at least an hour and nothing I had put on seemed to fit the right way. I was forced to settle on a black dress that flared at the bottom, and had pearls along the neckline. Unfortunately, it was a little short and it showed off my legs a little too much. I could already tell I was not going to have much fun at the release party. Not only was I feeling 'breakdown' coming on, I knew that Dean would be there with Kat.

Earlier, Kat had invited me to go dress shopping with her, but I was not in the mood to hear her talk about how wonderful Dean was, or watch her try dresses on that would make her look amazing. She was perfect in so many ways, and I couldn't figure out way Dean said she would never amount to me. And even if he truly did think that why was he with her?

The whole subject of Dean confused me. He acted like he wanted to be with me, but he was the one that told me to leave. I couldn't remember saying anything that could lead him to thinking I didn't want to be in a relationship with him. And the times I did allow myself to stay in the same room as him, he was so nice and civil. Maybe it was because I was too broken for him, and that was the only reason he chose to be nice to me. But he was with Kat and that made me hate him more than I did when I first met him.

Sighing, I put on my nude heels on-they made my legs look better- and I make my way down the stairs of my house. Thankfully, the release party was held not far from the WWE headquarters so I didn't have to spend another day from home. I had missed my humble abode.

I was riding to the party with Seth and Roman, but I was meeting Mike there.

He was nothing but a gentleman when we went out for drinks the other night. He had made me laugh, and he dropped me off at the hotel with a kiss on the cheek. And when he asked if I would save him a dance at the party, I agreed. Mike was wonderful, but again he lacked the one thing I craved in a relationship. Excitement.

"Wow, Elle. You look beautiful." Seth says as I walk into the living room, where he and Roman wait.

I nervously pull at my dress, "You really think so?"

"Of course, you don't think so?"

I shake my head slowly, frowning.

"Elle…" He sighs.

"Forget it" I say, walking swiftly out of the door and to the car.

**~x~**

The party is lively but classy at the same time. It's separated in two parts, a dining area and a dance floor that is separated from the dining area. There are many Superstars around; most of them are on the current roster. And then of course the people who put the magazine together. Which I hadn't got the chance to see yet.

When I see Dean and Kat making their way towards me, Seth, and Roman, I decide that's the opportune moment for me to check it out.

I tell Seth and Roman where I'm going, before crossing the room to a table where they have many magazines on display.

I quickly pick one up and flip through the pages until I get to The Shield section. The section of them as a whole was the first one, and it turned out great. The major picture was the one I took at Extreme Rules when they were holding their belts up. The next section was Seth's. The big picture that I chose for him was one I got of him during his workout in the gym. I was even sure to add the one I took at the press conference, when he made that wretched duck face. The next section was Dean's, and one look at it made my breath get caught in my throat. This shouldn't have happened considering I took all the pictures. Dean's big picture was a rare one where he was actually smiling. I had managed to get it during dinner one night, and I thought it was the best picture I had ever taken.

"Hello, Elle."

"Hey, Stephanie." I say,turning to hug the other woman.

"The magazine looks great doesn't it," She asks looking down at the magazine in my hands. "You did a great job."

"Thank you, ma'am." I say with a big smile. Not every day was it that Stephanie McMahon complemented you.

"And when my father saw it, he loved it."

My breath catches in my throat. Vince saw my work and actually liked it?

"He loved it so much in fact he wants you to get the pictures of the main subject from now on. How would you feel about permanently being on the WWE magazine staff?"

I gap at her. Was she serious? This was big for me. Yeah, it was happening really fast and sudden but I would be lying if I said I cared.

"Of course I'll do it."

She beams at me. "Great, I'll call you Monday with the details." She hugs me once more before walking off.

I was going to be working for the WWE permanently. Just knowing that caused me to forget about everything and just enjoy that moment.

**~x~**

"How about that dance?" Someone asks coming up behind me.

I turn around to see Mike smiling down at me. He sticks out his hand and I gladly take it. As he leads me to the dance floor, I catch glances of some of the other superstars looking at me and I get this sinking feeling in my stomach. I felt like they were judging me. Did I really look that bad? I try to ignore them but I feel like they are staring right through me. Hopefully, I'll get used to it once I permanently join the staff. Man, it felt great to say that.

Mike finally stops in the middle of the dance floor, and a slow song starts to play. He places his hands on my hips, and I put my arms around his shoulders, so my hands link behind his neck.

Not too far away from us, Dean and Kat are dancing too. I'd have to get used to that too. I wonder if she got offered a job on the staff. I don't think she had a steady job either. I get a glimpse of what Kat is wearing and I immediately feel insecure again. It's a short, skintight purple dress. I don't even question why Dean's with her.

I dance with Mike for one song before telling him I have to use to use the lady's room.

The bathroom is in a secluded area away from both the dining room and dance floor. It doesn't help that it's dark as fuck. I would feel threatened if I didn't know all these people.

I finish my business and wash my hands before taking a long look at myself in the mirror. I felt I looked even worse than I did at the beginning of my evening. Suddenly, images of all the other girls at the party rushed to my brain and I got that familiar urge. I almost give into the urge before reminding myself that I had to go back out there, and I hadn't brought toothpaste or a toothbrush fix my breath afterwards.

Sighing, I tear my eyes from the mirror and walk out the door. I squeal when someone grabs me.

"Dean." I say softly when I realize who it is.

"Elle, just let me dance with you once. Please."

I just stare at him blankly.

"It doesn't even have to be on the dance floor."

"Okay." I say wondering why I agreed so easily.

He places his hands on my hip and rests his chin on the top of my head. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. We sway softly to the slow music that we can hear just enough.

"I made a mistake when I told you to leave." Dean says softly, not taking his head from atop mine.

"What?" I say pulling back from him.

"Elle, you're amazing. Those things I said to you that morning, I didn't mean. You're the most incredible women I've ever met. I think I lo-"

"No, Dean. No. Don't say that. Don't lie to me. Not again." I say quickly before rushing off. I refuse to let him in again. With my new job, I knew avoiding him would be harder.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys. I apologize for the crappy quality of this chapter. I feel like it's a bit choppy and all over the place. But right now, I'm in an awkward point in the story. I know the next big thing that I want to happen but I can't exactly rush into it.**

**As always thank you to **_How Lestrange, nic-002001, DeeMarie426, Em, WrasslinChick, MissAmieB, _**and**_ 1 Crazy Burnette Goddess _**You give me faith in my writings.**

"Do you want some popcorn?" I ask Seth and Roman. I had somehow managed to get them to sit with me and have a Disney movie night.

We were currently in the middle of Beauty and the Beast.

It was the day after the release party, and thankfully the next RAW was in Connecticut. I had yet to tell anyone about my job on the staff. I was sure if I told Seth and Roman knew they would take me out to celebrate and I just wasn't in the mood for it. Also, I think the only reason they were sitting through Disney Princess movies was because they thought this would be the last time they would see me for a while.

"Of course we do."

I begin to get up and head to the kitchen, but then I realize what part of the movie we were at.

"In a minute, this is my favorite part." I say not taking my eyes off the screen. It was the part where The Beast was showing Belle the library in his castle. I mouth along to the words until the scene is over. Then I stand back up from the couch and go make my way into the kitchen.

"You're a freak, Elle." Seth says chuckling. I roll my eyes at him and make sure to kick his leg when I go by.

I grab a bag of popcorn and I stick it in the microwave. I watch patiently as the bag rotates in the microwave until Roman comes up behind me and almost gives me a heart attack.

"Sorry," He chuckles "Stephanie is on the phone" He says handing the phone out to me.

"Oh. Thanks." I take the phone from him and put it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Elle. I just wanted to call and see if you had changed your mind about the job."

"Oh no, I haven't. Why have you?" I ask worriedly.

"No, of course not. If you still want the job then, can you come to the show tomorrow? I can give you your next subject there, okay?"

"Okay, Stephanie. That sounds great." I say with a nod that she can't see, before hanging up. As soon as I hang up, I get a text message.

_From Dean:_

_Can you meet me at The Little Café? I need to see you and explain some things to you. Please come. I'll be there at 4._

I stare at the message. Should I go? He said he needed to explain…maybe if I went I would finally get the answers I needed. Gas wasn't an issue, The Little Café was only a block from my house and I could easily walk. And I couldn't avoid Dean forever. I would have to be around him a lot more often now.

I decided I would go, but I'd arrive a little after 4 just to make him suffer.

Sighing, I walk into the living room and plop down on the couch.

"Hey!" I exclaim. "This is NOT Beauty and the Beast!"

"Well, you were gone for a while so we just decided that-"

"No!" I roar, okay that's and exaggeration, but it did anger me. "Guys, this is the last time we'll be together. Can't we spend it watching what I want?" I say calming down. Yes, this was a lie but why not lay it on thick?

"Don't remind us. We're going to miss you so much Elle." Seth says looking at me sadly, but still not changing whatever crap man show they were watching. But the face that Seth makes is too adorable for me to hold my new from them any longer.

"Then I should probably tell you that...I am permanently on the staff for the WWE magazine!"

"Really, that's great!"

"I know, I feel like I actually have my life on track. For a while I didn't know what I was doing."

"We're just glad we get to spend more time with you. You're like a sister us. Well, except for Dean. I don't think he sees you as a sister."

I roll my eyes; considering we slept together I hope he didn't see me as a sister.

"Speaking of Dean, I'm actually meeting him for lunch soon."

"Elle…you're not going to…you know?"

"I'm not really sure what you're asking. I just know I'm not letting him in that easy. He's got a lot of explaining to do."

"That's the truth." Roman says nodding.

This time last year everything was so different. I didn't have a steady job or great friends. I didn't have any friends actually. And being where I am now I don't think I would have it any other way. Even if I did have a man that couldn't decide what he wanted.

**~x~**

I walk into The Little Café with a nervous smile on my face. I had fidgeted on the walk over, earning stares from people that walked past me. Well, if they were in my shoes I'm sure they would be nervous as fuck also.

I arrived at the café at 4:15, I hoped that it was enough time to make Dean sweat.

I spot Dean in a secluded booth, sipping on a coffee. He was also looking around. Good, I did accomplish something today.

"Dean." I say sitting in the seat across from him.

"Elle! You actually showed up. Did you come late on purpose?" He asks.

I laugh slightly, "Yes."

He rolls his eyes at me and laughs at me. For a minute it's almost how it was when I spent a week with him in Cincinnati. But then I remember that he kicked me out of his house and I put my game face back on. He seems to remember why he's here also.

"Elle, I'm sorry. For everything."

"Dean…Sorry doesn't always cut it, ya know?

"Yes, I know. But I thought I'd just start there." He sighs, looking down at the coffee cup in his hands.

A silence passes between us. I realize that Dean's not the best with words and that he's probably not going to just spill everything on his own.

"Why'd you kick me out? I mean, I can understand if I was just a good fuck-"

"You were so much more than that, Elle. You have to understand that."

"Then why are you with Kat? I would be more than happy to be in Kat's place." I say, a slight edge coming to my voice.

"Really?"

"Yes, Dean. I thought I made that clear when we slept together, and I shared all those secrets with you. I like you a lot, and I thought you liked me too . And then when you got with Kat, I was getting mixed signals. I just don't know what you want."

"Are you sure you don't share those 'secrets' with Mike?" He says snidely.

My eyes widen, he did not just say that.

"What does Mike have to do with this?" I ask, flailing my arms around. I could feel Bitchy Elle coming on.

"Well, you're here telling me that I was sending mixed signals, but then your off fucking Mike!" He yells, earning stares from the small amount of people in the café.

"I am NOT sleeping with Mike." I say through gritted teeth, he was really testing my patience.

"Oh, please."

"I thought you invited me here to explain to me. Well, the only thing you've explained is that you're an ass that makes assumptions, and likes to play with my feelings." I say standing up. I just wanted to go home, curl up, watch Disney movies, and have a cry.

"Elle, please. I'm sorry; I'm not good at these things. I usually turn into an asshole before fixing anything." He says standing up and running his hands through his hair.

"Dean…you just have to tell me what you want. If it's me, then you can have me. Just tell me." I sigh, looking into his eyes. He looked so hurt, and it broke my heart to see him like that. My statement had gone against everything I had said about not letting him back in, but this was pitiful.

"Elle, of course I want you. I want all of you, forever. But I'm no good for you."

"No, Dean. Don't say that." I say, my voice quivering.

"It's the truth, Elle" He sighs "I have to let you go."

"Dean, I'm no better that you are. You have this false assumption that I am perfect but I'm not. And if I am, so are you." I say taking his hands and sitting back down in the booth. We were both in the same seat now.

We don't say anything, but he ever so slowly leans in to kiss me. When our lips meet it's like a long overdue reunion. For a minute I forget that he kicked me out, that he's with Kat, or that I'm sort of with Mike.

"Dean," I say tucking my head into his neck. "We can't keep doing this. We need to have an adult conversation; you can't deny that there are things we need to talk about. A kiss can't make everything better."

"Sunshine, I don't know what you want me to do." He says softly.

I pull away from my spot in his neck and look at him incredulously.

"Dean! I want you to tell me how you feel. I want you to tell me why you kicked me out; I want you to tell me why you're with Kat. I want you to be honest with me, with all bullshit aside." I say staring into his eyes as hard as I could. I had experienced so many emotions to afternoon it was surreal.

"Elle, all I know is that I think I lo-"

"Dean _and _Elle. What a lovely surprise."

We turn away from each other to see who was speaking to us. Kat. Great, I could only hope she just got here and didn't see us kiss.

One look at Kat's face I knew that she was pisses. How did she find us anyway?

"I see I'm early for our lunch date, Dean." Oh, looks like I wasn't the only one Dean was meeting at The Little Café.

I look in between Dean and Kat, and I realize I better leave.

"Kat, nice to see you but I really need to leave." I say pushing Dean out of the seat lightly and standing up.

"Oh no, no, no! You have to hug me before you leave Elle!" She says putting this false happiness in her voice that makes me want to throw up.

She grabs me before I can agree to a hug, and she squeezes me tightly before whispering in my ear "Leave him the fuck alone. Don't ever speak to us again." Her tone is venomous and it only makes me want to punch her in the face. I don't know who she thinks she is ordering me around. When she pulls away she has this humongous fake smile on her face. But her eyes shined with anger. I knew that when I left Dean was going to get in. Poor soul.

I nod at Dean, before turning on my heel and walking out the door. Things continued to get confusing between me and Dean. I was starting to wonder if there was hope for us at all.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys, sorry I took so long. There was July 4****th**** and I meant to post it on the 5****th**** but I got food poisoning. **

**I know the story is moving slowly but I promise you the next 2 chapters will be amazing. Chapter 15 is my favorite, you'll see.**

**Lovely reviews came from **_thejoker122, ANABELLA, Em, nic-002001, DeeMarie426, MissAmieB, KayNicole90, _**and **_1 Crazy Burnette Goddess. _**Also shout out to **_TheLolaDiaz _**because her review made me laugh.**

I walk into the arena that night with a frown and a heart as heavy as the weight on my shoulders. Ever since my meeting with Dean earlier that day, I couldn't shake the feeling that something horrible was going to happen. These series of events could only potentially lead to a disaster.

Sighing, I continue my walk into the arena to find Stephanie's office for the night. Thankfully, she had said business clothes were not needed, so I decided to wear my favorite jeans and a black sweatshirt.

When I find Stephanie I immediately regret that decision. There she was standing in a nice pantsuit, while I stood in front of her looking meager.

"I feel really underdressed. What happened to the no dress clothes rule?" I ask, fidgeting with the strings on my sweatshirt.

"Oh, sorry. It only applied to you. I'd be dressed close to the same if I didn't have to cut a promo tonight."

"With who?" I ask, my inner WWE fan coming out.

"Paul and Daddy."

"Interesting." I say taking a seat in the folding chair that was in her temporary office that was really just an oversized closet.

"Anyway. Let's talk about your contract." I nod at her signaling that I was ready.

"I know I told you that I wanted you on the magazine but-"

My eyes widen, did she suddenly not want me as photographer anymore and preferred I was janitor at the headquarters?

"Don't look like that, let me finish. I just think we should let you do more than just the magazine. Maybe some pictures for the programs or some of the event posters. I know that you show A LOT of potential, and I just need to know the best way I can use you."

Just hearing her say that I had potential made my heart swell. What was left of it anyway.

"I would love to work here permanently." I say with a smile. That's enough for her, so she stops trying to convince me. If she only knew that she didn't have to convince me. She puts the contract in front of me, and for a spilt second I pretend she signing me to the roster.

"And before you sign, I need you answer a question for me."

Oh god.

"Shoot." I say with false confidence.

"Now, whatever your answer is it won't matter. I just like to know okay?"

"Okay." I say wishing she would just spit it out.

"Are you romantically involved with anyone on the roster?"

My mind immediately flashes to Dean, when it probably should've gone to Mike. Now, how do I answer this question?

"No…Not particularly." I say. It wasn't a lie, Mike hadn't really tried to determine the relationship with me yet and don't get me started on Dean.

Stephanie's eyebrows shoot up, "What does that mean?"

"Well, I was for a little while," That was the truth; it was only like 3 days. "But then something happened and he kicked me out. Someone is courting me, I guess you could say." I finish, looking down at my hands. I prayed I didn't come off as a slut.

"Lemme guess, Dean Ambrose was the first one and Mike Mizanin is courting you."

"Yes," I sigh "You're right. How'd you know?"

"Word travels fast around here, you'll learn that. I appreciate you being honest though. Others aren't when I ask them. I assumed something would happen between you and one of The Shield guys."

I nod at her, suddenly remembering what was happening in my life. Not really giving it a second thought, I chose to confine in the older woman. I didn't really have any other female friends. Well, there was Kat. Were we friends now? Were we ever truly friends? I don't know, I don't really care either.

"Can I vent to you Stephanie? I don't really have anyone else…" I trail off. When she nods, I fire off my long list of problems.

"Well, first I hated Dean. We were always at each other's throats. Then something changed and I saw a side of him I never saw before. Then when I spent my week with him we did couple-like things we even-don't fire me- slept together. Then the next morning he kicked me out."

She senses that I have more to say so she nods with encouragement.

"At first, I thought it was because he got what he wanted. Sadly, I would've been okay with that. Then when we saw each other again he said he was sorry and that he wanted to be with me. And I-"

"Isn't he with Katherine?"

"Yes, that's what makes this all so confusing." I sigh.

"How does Mike fit into this? Not to make him jealous, right?"

"No, he was more of a…distraction. I know that Mike's a good guy and doesn't deserve that though."

"Here's what I suggest you do. Cut ties with Mike, don't lead him own."

I nod at her, I completely agree.

"Then after that give Dean space, separate yourselves. That may be difficult with your new job, but it'll give him time to really decide what he wants."

I nod again taking it all in.

"Then make other friends. Females would be best. As much as I enjoy talking to you, I am your boss. And any talk about our personal lives would be inappropriate."

"Okay, I understand. Is there anyone you suggest?"

"Maybe AJ or Natalya. Both of them are incredibly sweet. AJ might come off as bitchy on TV, but she's so sweet and down to earth. She loves to make friends I can tell you that."

"Okay. Thank you so much Stephanie."

She says it was no problem and with that I sign the contract and walk out of her office.

I couldn't decide if I wanted to stay for the show that night or not.

Soon, my decision is made for me when I see Kat and Dean in the hallway. Kat spots me before Dean does and she quickly pulls him to her and attempts to eat his face.

Dean is surprised, but it doesn't look like he kisses her back. His eyes are even open, all the while she was putting her all into the kiss.

Dean's eyes finally find mine and he immediately pushes Kat off of him. We stare at each other for a moment. I knew I wasn't 'allowed' to talk to him so I tried to talk with my eyes.

'_If this is what you want.' _ I try to say with my eyes.

His eyes plead a silent message to me _'It's not, I promise you.'_

I shrug at him before walking out of the arena, definitely not staying for the show.

**~x~**

The next morning, I was traveling to the next town with Seth and Roman. Dean was riding with Kat, and I think it was safe to say he was doing that by no choice of his own.

I was sitting in the front with Seth; Roman was in the back seat engrossed by a game on his phone.

"So, how did your meeting with Dean go?" Seth asks.

I quickly fill him in about the how Kat showed up and what she had said.

"Always knew she was a bitch" Roman says gruffly from the backseat. I nod in agreement to his statement.

"I knew something bad had happened. Dean hasn't been the same since." Seth says.

"How so?" I ask curiously.

"Well, before the meeting he actually put forth an effort to act happy. Now he can't be bothered to pretend."

"How does Kat take that?"

"She acts like she doesn't notice, and she always forces herself on him. You can tell he's not into her."

"Then why does he date her!?" I exclaim.

"I don't know, Elle. You guys really need to have a talk in a room without any interruptions."

"I just can't do that Seth. I'm sure this will all work out for the best." I say sighing.

"Whatever, Elle. If you guys both enjoy being miserable then so be it."

**~x~**

Later that night after we had arrived at the hotel, I found myself starving. I had spotted a Chinese takeout just across the street, I thought it was my best option.

But I knew I couldn't get Chinese without asking Seth or Roman if they wanted anything.

I go across the hall to the room they were staying in.

Using the extra room key Roman had given me I walk into the room. What I see is surprising.

Seth, Roman, Dean, and Kat are all sitting around a box of pizza chatting and laughing. Everyone goes silent when they realize I'm there.

The three guys are looking at me concerned like they expect me to lash out at any moment, but Kat is glaring at me.

"I was just…uh…seeing if you guys wanted some Chinese but I…I see you're already eating…" I trail off, feeling embarrassed. I was obviously not wanted here.

"Well, can you like get lost now?" Kat says snidely.

"No, no. Elle, do you want some of this pizza? There's-" Dean starts but I cut him off.

"No, Dean it's fine. Thanks for the offer, though." I say turning around and walking out the door.

As I made my way to the elevator I tried not be pissed at Seth and Roman. It's not like the actually enjoyed her company, they just wanted the food right? Shaking my head, I forget about it. I just wanted some food.

**~x~**

I arrived back at the hotel no more than twenty minutes later carrying my dinner, and also extra for Seth and Roman. I knew they would get hungry later.

I walk into my hotel room and I see a figure sitting on my bed.

"I knew you would get hungry, Seth." I say with a small laugh, sitting the food on the table by the door.

"Not Seth, but good guess Sunshine.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys. This chapter gives me feels and I'm the one who wrote it! It's the one you've all been waiting for. I tried not to wait too long to update. I hope it lives up to your expectations. And about Chapter 15, at the end of this chapter you'll probably figure out what it entails. And I just hope that you guys enjoy it as much as I do.**

**The reviews I got from **_naïve melody, dude-where's-the-pie, nic-002001, niki 1981, Em, thejoker122, ANABELLA, DeeMarie426, MissAmieB, _**and**_ 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess._**were great. Thank you guys so much for getting me more than 100 reviews!**

"Dean." I say with a sigh going to turn on the light. "What are you doing here?"

"Seth said I had to bring you leftovers but then when I got in here he locked the door and wouldn't let me out." He explains.

"Well, no one was at the door when I got here."

"I'm pretty sure he had Roman on watch, and then he left we he saw you coming."

"You didn't try to open up the door?" I ask.

"I did for a little while but then I realized that we _really _need to talk." He says patting the space beside him on the bed. Agreeing, I take a seat next to him.

"Where should we start?" I whisper. There was so much we could talk about it was ridiculous.

"Well, I heard about your job. Congratulations. I'm glad you're finally doing something you enjoy." He says with a small smile.

"Thank you. I feel like this is what I've been waiting for." He nods at me and it goes silent again.

"I think we should just be blunt about things," I say with a sigh realizing that we were getting nowhere "Do you want to be with me or not Dean?"

"Of course, I do. You know that."

"Then why aren't we together Dean?"

"I don't know, Elle. There are a lot of reasons."

"Then, Let's start where our problem really began, shall we? Why did you kick me out after we slept together? None of that 'you're better than me' crap either, okay?" I say, I realize that if I wanted this conversation to go anywhere I was going to have to call the shots and not take any bullshit.

"I…I guess I was scared," He said after a moment. "Or maybe it was out of habit. Usually after I sleep with a woman I kick her out."

His explanation made sense. It was no news to me that Dean had, had a lot of one night stands in his past. I never once had held it against him, and I wasn't about to now.

"Was it your intention to kick me out the night before?" I ask curiously.

"No. That night I had the full intention to hold on to you well into the morning. But then during the sex I started to…" He gulps, and I know that whatever comes out of his mouth next is hard for him. "Get…feelings. Deep feelings, ones I had never felt before. And all I could think about when we finished is how I wanted to be able to do that forever. I wanted to fall asleep next you every night, and wake up to you next to you every morning."

I look at him with a small smile. It was possibly the most endearing thing I had ever heard. The smile on my face vanishes when I realize what I'm supposed to be doing.

"And those feeling just disappeared over night?" I ask staring at him, even though he refused to meet my stare.

"No, I kicked you out because I was scared. I had never felt anything like that and when I did, I did what I always do. I ran away. Or made you run away, I guess." He trails off, still staring at a spot on the wall in front of him.

There's a silence between us while I contemplate what he had just said. I was glad that he didn't kick me out because of something I did, but I was still worried about what could be going on in that head of his.

"I still feel that way, you know," He says after a while, and he finally meets my eyes. "I still want to be with you, Sunshine."

"I want to be with you too, Dean." I whisper.

Before I get the chance to say anything else, his lips are softly pressed against mine. I would be lying if I said I hadn't missed the feeling.

No matter how much I loved kissing Dean, I pull away. "I just have to cut ties with Mike, and you have to break up with Kat and we can be together." I say with a smile. Knowing that after those two things were done we could be together made my stomach flutter.

"I can't break up with Kat." He says pulling away from my embrace and staring at the wall again.

"What?" I ask disbelievingly "Why not?"

"I just can't."

"Well, you obviously don't want to be with me that much if you won't break up with her." I say standing up from the bed and putting my hands on my hips. Bitchy Elle was coming.

"I can't because I know that Kat wants to be with me."

"And I don't?" I say icily staring him down. Just when we were going somewhere he takes it all back and we are back where we started. This was getting tiring.

"I'm just not sure about you, Elle. One minute you're Sweet Elle, then your Insecure Elle, and the next minute your Bitchy Elle. It's like you have multiple personalities. And only one of them actually likes me."

"Well, Bitchy Elle is getting ready to rear her ugly head." I say feeling the anger bubble inside me.

"I figured she would, she always does." He says with a roll of his blue eyes.

I scoff at him.

The room is silent and stuffy, and it's so awkward that I want to scream and punch a wall. But I manage to hold it together. We were getting to the bottom of this even if all three Elle's had to make an appearance.

After Dean gets tired of me glaring at him, he speaks up again. "I keep Kat around because I know she always be there. Even when she's pissed at me she'll still throw herself at me. She makes the relationship easy. You don't make things easy though, I know there will always be a challenge with you."

I gape at him, not believing the shit that was spilling out of his mouth. While it was understandable, it was still complete and utter bullshit.

"Dean!" I exclaim. "Relationships aren't supposed to be easy. Easy means simple and simple means boring. Yes, fights in a relationship are stressful but they only test how strong the couple is. And in my opinion there wouldn't be a couple stronger than us. And Jesus knows that our relationship wouldn't be easy, it's going to be hard and we're going to have to work at it. But I think it'll be worth it in the end. Don't you?" I finish exasperated.

"Of course, I do." He says looking at me. I can almost see a slide show of sorts going through his mind of what our lives together would be like.

"Then break up with Kat." I say feeling like this was finally over. Feeling like they were finally over.

"I can't." He says quietly, so quiet I'm not sure I even heard him.

"Then get out." I say stonily. I had, had enough of this shit for one night. I wasn't going to go back and forth with him giving him reasons on why he should break up with Kat, and I definitely wasn't going to play second fiddle to her.

"Elle…no. Don't do that."

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"You just don't understand, Elle." He says shaking his head.

"I understand just fine, Dean. You're too much of a pussy to even be in a _real_ relationship. So you can go take your happy ass back to Kat." I say icily, going over to the door and opening it for him. "When you grow some balls, come talk to me."

Oh yup, Bitchy Elle was here. Damn, she could show up fast.

"Elle, don't be like this." Dean says walking over to me where I stood at the door. I do nothing except shrug and push him out the door.

**~x~**

The next afternoon I meander around the arena looking for something to do. I decided to make a trip to catering. The thought of doing that was making me nervous. All three members of The Shield were off doing media, and even if Mike was there he wouldn't want to speak to me considering I told him I had no interest in him last night after Dean had left.

As I walk into to catering I glance around at the people already there. Daniel Bryan was at a table with John Cena, and The Bella Twins. They all looked paired off, so I figured it was best not to go over there. At another table Damien Sandow sat with Cody Rhodes. They looked like they were in a deep conversation so I didn't think it was best to go over there either. The only other table that wasn't empty was one that had AJ Lee, Dolph Ziggler, and Big E Langston. While this was my best option, I had no idea how to go over there. I couldn't just waltz over there and declare myself their friend could I? I had never been good at making friends.

Sighing, I wait a good 5 minutes before I see AJ get up and make herself a salad at the salad bar. I always seemed to approach people here.

"Hi, AJ." I say grabbing a bowl.

"Um…hey, Elle is it?"

"Yeah. I'm just…I'm just going to throw this out there. I'm new here and the only friends I have are The Shield. And I just…I need-"

"You need a friend. I understand. I would've done the same if I didn't come here with a friend." She says easily.

"Yeah…"

"Come sit with us!" She says happily, grabbing my wrist and pulling me to where Dolph and Big E sat.

"Guys, this is Elle. She's new here." AJ says, she even pulls a seat out for me.

"Don't you hang around Reigns, Rollins, and Ambrose?" Big E asked.

"Yeah…but you can never have too many friends, right?" I ask nervously. I did not feel like talking about them. If I talked about them it would only remind me of what happened last night.

Soon, we fall into an easy conversation. I find that I have a lot in common with AJ. I also found myself looking at her and Dolph in jealousy, they were the cutest.

"Do you ever get annoyed with their couple moments?" I ask Big E as Dolph and AJ start cuddling up to each other and whispering things to one another.

"Nah, not really. Did Reigns and Rollins ever get annoyed at you and Dean for your couple moments?" e asks.

"No, no. Dean and I aren't-weren't- a couple."

"Really?" AJ asks pulling herself away from Dolph.

"Really." I deadpan.

"He'd always scare away guys when they would talk about you. Everyone only assumed…" Dolph speaks up.

I snort. "That is not the first time I have heard that."

They must realize that the subject of Dean is really touchy for me so they drop it and we talk about other things.

**~x~**

Later that night I was locked up in my hotel room, watching Netflix on my laptop when there is a knock at my door.

Going over to the door, I open it to reveal Dean. I begin to close the door on him until he stops it with his foot.

When I glare at him, he places his hands on my shoulders and stares into my eyes.

"I broke up with Kat."

"What?" I say smiling.

"Told her that she was ruining a good thing for me. She actually started to throw a tantrum, but I got one of the security guys to drive her to the airport. I got her a one way ticket back to Connecticut." He says with a smile that matches my own.

"I broke things off with Mike. Sadly, he didn't throw a tantrum." I say with a laugh, and he chuckles back at me. My anger at Dean had now vanished and was now replaced with a warm giddiness because I knew now nothing was standing in our way.

"I got us some tickets too."

"What kind of tickets?" I ask curiously.

"Well, as you make know we will be in California for a week. And 3 of those days we're off…" He trails off.

"Yeah?" I say not knowing where he was going with this.

"Well…I got us 3 day passes to Disneyland. No big deal."

"What!?" I exclaim. I had always wanted to go to one of Disney parks but Gram didn't make _that_ much money from photography.

He pulls out the passes from his back pocket and shows then to me. I actually squeal from excitement. And I _never _do that.

"Yup," I say taking the passes out of his hands "You're the best boyfriend I've ever had." I say not realizing the 'B' word had escaped from my mouth.

"Is that what I am? Jesus, you like to move fast." He says with a smirk.

"Well, do you want to be?" I ask seriously. I had said variations of this question many times before to him. But this time I knew his answer would be different. Nothing was holding us back.

"Of course." He says.

I smile at him, before leaning towards him and kissing him ever so softly.

Things were finally working out.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys. I'm loved the response I got from the last chapter so I updated earlier than usual. I'm so glad that you guys like the last chapter, I worked so hard on it. I know that the hype to this chapter was really big, and I don't think I lived up to it. Sorry.**

**And I mention a lightshow at Disney and I would just like to inform you that it doesn't exist. I made it up for the sake of the story.**

**Thank you, **_DeeMarie426, nic-002001, thejoker122, Em, 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, MissAmieB, StoryLover82, KayNicole90, ghunter182003, DahBomb, _**and **_niki 1981_

I sat next to Dean fidgeting from excitement. We had already been in California for 2 days, and now we were on our way to Disneyland. I hadn't stopped thinking about Disney since Dean told me he got us tickets.

The company had booked us a hotel that was 2 hours away from Anaheim, so Dean and I still had to drive there. I wondered if we would run into any other superstars while we were here.

"We're half way there." Dean says speaking up.

I squeal from excitement. Sadly, I had been doing that a lot lately.

"I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into Dean."

"What do you mean?" He asks his eyebrows furrowing.

"Well, I've wanted to go to Disney since I was a young girl. And if you think that, that young girl isn't going to show up, you're sadly mistaken." I deadpan. I knew that as soon as I walked into the park Child Elle would make an appearance, and she would not be controlled.

He laughs at me, "I'm not worried about it, Elle. I don't care if I have to chaperone a 5 year old, as long as you're happy."

I smile at him. Ever since Dean and I made our relationship official, he had been the sweetest. I wasn't sure if that was because he was scared to lose me or if it was because he wanted to act that way. I was finally in a relationship that wasn't boring. Dean made me feel alive whenever we were together. Which was almost always, but still.

We drove some more an in about an hour I saw a sign that said 'Disneyland left'

"We're here, oh my god. We're here!" I say squealing and clapping my hands excitedly. I felt like a complete and utter idiot but I didn't give two shits. Dean does nothing but look at me with a smile.

"Now the first thing we have to do is buy Mickey Mouse ears, and then we have to ride some rides. Oh, Dean you have to take me to-"

"No," He says cutting me off "The first thing we have to do is check into our hotel."

My shoulders slump. "Where's the hotel?" I sigh.

"In the park, you won't have to go too far."

I beam at him, not only was I at Disneyland but I got to stay inside the park.

**~x~**

"Okay," Dean asks me as we walk out of the hotel after checking in and depositing our bags "Can we just split what we want to do up, right now?"

"You mean like a schedule? I never really took you as the planning type." I say smirking at him.

"I'm not. I just know that you want to do a lot, and I want you to be able to do as much as you can." He says shrugging.

"Okay. How about we devote today to riding rides? Then tomorrow we can go around and meet all the characters? I think it's supposed to rain tomorrow though. And the third day we can just relax and do whatever."

"That sounds like a plan. I know that I want to see the light show tomorrow night though."

"A light show?" I ask, I had never heard of that before.

"Yeah, apparently there are like lights hidden in trees and stuff. Then they have some hidden spot lights too, and they go with some Disney music. I thought it sounded cool, but if you don't think so we don't have-"

"No, that sounds lovely Dean." I say grabbing his hand and squeezing it reassuringly.

"Really?" He asks skeptical.

"Yes, I'm just glad that you actually putting thought into this trip and you're not just doing things to please me."

"Now what fun would that be?" He says smirking at me.

**~x~**

Dean and I make our way back to our hotel around 10:00. To say that we were worn out would be an understatement. We had rode rides that were located all around the park; it was tiresome but fun at the same time.

I had also brought my camera along, so I had got many great pictures of Dean and me. They wouldn't be going in a magazine of course but I would always have them. One of my favorites was one of us standing in front Cinderella's castle. Another favorite was one I had got of Dean pouting because I forced him to wear Mickey Mouse ears. I thought it was only fair if he matched my sparkly Minnie Mouse ones.

When we get into the room I actually get a chance to survey it. It's a gorgeous room with light blue walls and a silhouette of the castle hanging above the beds. The duvets on the bed were crisp, white and they looked like clouds in the blue room. There were also various pictures of Disney princesses hanging on the walls. I really could get used to this.

"Did you have fun today?" I ask with a yawn while going into the bathroom to change.

"Yeah, I did. I've always loved rides," Dean answers me through the door. "And you were there, so that automatically made it a good day."

I smile widely at him as I walk back into the main part of the room.

"Where are you sleeping?" He asks warily as he climbs into one of the beds.

"Next to you, of course." I say rolling my eyes, while climbing into the bed next to him.

"Well, you know I just wasn't sure and I…" He trails off nervously.

I roll my eyes at him. "Shut up and hold me."

He obliges and I cuddle up into the crook of his neck. I would never get sick of this.

**~x~**

"Oh my god! I can't believe I just met Peter Pan!" I squeal, having to refrain from jumping up and down in excitement.

"You know that wasn't really…"

"Shut up! Shut up! This is the best day of my life, oh my god! Wasn't he the sweetest, Dean?"

"Yeah, yeah. Where to next?" He grumbles. I assumed that Dean wasn't going to like Peter as soon as we found him perched on a fountain. My assumptions were proven correct after Peter had wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I thought Dean was going to give him a black eye. That was probably one thing I disliked about our relationship; how possessive he was.

"Just to see Rapunzel and then we can go get dinner then get a spot for the lights?"

He nods and we start walking to where the line to meet Rapunzel starts.

**~x~**

Rapunzel was so lovely and so in character. She was probably my favorite to meet.

True to our word we get dinner and get a spot for the lights.

Our spot is not to fancy, and not really a spot. Chairs weren't really required so we were free to roam around the park. Dean insisted that we stood as near as possible to the castle.

I stood huddled with Dean as the lights began. They were beautiful. All sorts of colors were burst from the trees, and somehow (like Dean said) spot lights would show up. Some of the spot lights would be on the asphalt and they would be the shapes of different Disney related things. And somehow the lights were always in time with the different Disney songs that played.

We were too entranced by the lights that we failed to realize that it was starting to sprinkle. We didn't notice that it was actually raining until it started to poor. We had no other choice other than to run and seek shelter, but Dean had insisted that we stood far away from the trees as possible. So now we had to run like bats out of hell to avoid getting soaked.

When we finally find a tree to take cover under, we realize that running was no good because we're still soaked to the bone.

"You just had to get the perfect spot didn't you?" I all but snarl at Dean, attempting to wring the water out of clothes and hair.

"Oh please, Sunshine. It's not like I did it on purpose." He says with the same tone that I have.

"Whatever." I say.

There's silence between us.

"I'm sorry," I say speaking up. "You know how I feel about storms."

"It's not really a storm…But I apologize too."

I smile warmly at him, before pecking his cheek.

My eyes widen when I realize what song starts to play, it had always been my favorite.

_There's something sweet and almost kind_

_But he was mean, and he was course and unrefined_

The lyrics playing from the speaker were from Beauty and The Beast. In a weird way I felt like the lyrics summed up Dean and I's relationship. Except for the part when I didn't shutter at his paw.

"Dance with me." I whisper. He obliges; wraps his arms around my waist and I lay my head on his chest while swaying gently to the music. Our position felt familiar.

"_But now he's dear and so unsure_

_I wonder why I didn't see it there before." _ I sing softly into his ear. I feel him smile against my cheek,

"_New and a bit alarming,_

_Who'd have ever thought that this could be_

_True that he's no Prince Charming_

_But there's something in him that I simply didn't see." _I continue singing into his ear.

And I don't know if it's the lights and how they make his eyes look even bluer. Or maybe it's the way he looks at me as I pull away from his neck. Or it might be the way the rain makes his hair stick to his forehead adorably that makes me say what I say next.

"I love you, Dean." I whisper. His eyes visably widen until the go back to normal size.

"I love you too, Elle." He smiles at me and leans in to kiss me softly. This kiss is different. It's passionate and sweet at the same time. I fist my hand in his hair, and his hands grab at my hips.

"Let's go back to the hotel shall we?" He asks huskily against my lips.

I nod in agreement.

That night easily became the best of my life.


	16. Chapter 16

**Oh my god, I'm so sorry. It's been like seven years since I updated. And I was a little worried when no one said anything about the 'I love you' in the last chapter. But that's okay.**

**WARNING! This chapter is a trigger chapter. There are heavy anorexic themes in this chapter. Just because Elle is a fictional character doesn't mean she is perfect. If any of you are going through this, talk to me if you need to.**

**Thank you **_ .Uchiha, starsxhearts23, Em, DeeMarie426, ghunter182003, MissAmieB, DahBomb, niki 1981, _**and** _1 Crazy Brunette Goddess. _**Your reviews are so lovely and they make my day!**

"Are you going to kick me out this morning?" I ask Dean as I stretch in the bed. He was sitting at a miniature table across the room from the bed.

"Not likely, Sunshine." He says looking at me from over his coffee cup that he was drinking from.

"Did you bring me any?" I ask as I pull on the shirt I had discarded for Dean the night before.

"Yeah, and some pancakes, but I was waiting for you to get up before I started to eat." He says pulling some containers out of a plastic bag that sat beside him.

"What time is it anyway?" I ask cutting up one of the pancakes that was in the shape of Mickey Mouse ears.

"About 12:30. We have to check out by 4, and we can start back on the road then."

I nod at him, "What do you want to do until then?"

"I figured we could go to the hotel pool."

My eyes widen, and I hope that Dean didn't notice. Going to the pool meant being in a bathing suit, and there would be people there. But Dean hadn't really asked to do anything other than see the lights and go to the pool. I couldn't exactly deny him of the one thing he wanted to do.

"Or we could just go back into the park if you want…" He trails off. One many occasions Dean would take back an idea he had because he thought I didn't like it. I found it incredibly sweet.

"No, no. We'll go. Today can just be like a relax day." I say with a fake smile. I was more than happy to just relax but going to the poll made me really nervous. My insecurities were getting ready to rear their ugly head. Suddenly, I didn't want breakfast anymore.

**~x~**

I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. Dean had finished breakfast about thirty minutes ago, and after he stared at my full plate for a good five minutes I decided it was best to go change.

The bikini I had packed was just as navy blue and white striped top and solid colored navy bottoms. I found it amazing how a bathing suit I had felt so confident in 1 month ago now made me feel like an ugly duckling.

My skin was too pale, my boobs were too small, my stomach wasn't flat enough, and my thighs would jiggle each time I moved.

But I had already agreed to go to the pool with Dean. So I put on one of Dean t-shirts, and a brave face. I would just ignore the people around me.

I step out of the bathroom to see Dean sitting on the edge of the bed shirtless and in black swimming trucks. Seeing Dean shirtless never failed to take my breath away.

"You ready?" He asked.

I nod at him. I prayed he wouldn't ask about the T-shirt.

The walk to the hotel pool is short. And just like I had expected there were many people in there. There were 2 families, both consisting of kids that were younger than 10. The rest of the people were men and females that looked about my age. Some of them were with their significant other, and the other ones were just in groups scoping out the other people.

I felt eyes on us as soon as we walked in. I wasn't sure if they were disgusted with me, or if they just recognized Dean.

Dean finds us a white chair to sit our stuff down and he looks at me expectantly.

"Are you going to take your shirt off?"

I glance around the pool area before meeting his eyes.

"I wasn't really planning on it." I say sheepishly.

"Well, I'll be damned if I let you get in that water in _my _shirt when people have peed in that water."

I glare at him. "C'mon, Dean, please." I say pleading.

"Why, Elle? Is it because you don't want me to see you? I've seen you naked for Christ's sake, Sunshine."

"I know, I know." I say my eyes darting around nervously.

"I'm sure you look fine, more than fine. No, better yet keep your shirt on. Don't want any of these sleaze dogs around here getting the wrong idea." He whispers wrapping his arms around my torso.

"No, no. I don't want your shirt to get drenched in pee water." I say glaring at him.

"Oh c'mon, I was kidding. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable." He says smiling softly at me.

I shake my head at him before pulling my shirt over my head. The worst was over. Once I actually got in the pool no one would be able to see my body much anyway.

Dean lets his eyes rake in my body.

"You look beautiful." He says before taking my hand and pulling me towards the pool with him.

We had been splashing and swimming around for a while, when a little boy no more than 10 came over to Dean.

"Hi, I'm Kevin. And I was just wondering if I could have your autograph?" He says nervously, and if I was approaching Dean with only knowing his TV persona I would have been nervous too, especially if I was really young. But his dad was standing behind him for support.

"Sure, buddy." Dean says climbing out of the pool and walking with Kevin to our chair so he could dry off his hands before signing anything. That left me alone in the pool with Kevin's dad standing above me.

"Kevin's a big WWE fan. We're actually going to the show on Monday that's going to be in San Diego."

"That's cool. Do you guys have passes or anything?"

"No, sadly. That's why I'm glad Kevin got to meet Dean today. He was incredibly nervous coming over here."

"He shouldn't have been. Dean in real life is different from the Dean on screen."

"I'm glad. Are you his girlfriend?" He asks. I wasn't quite sure why he decided to ask this question, it really was none of his business.

"Yeah…" At that moment, Dean and Kevin come back laughing together. Dean and Kevin's father exchanged some kind words and then Kevin and his dad left us and the pool.

"That's was a cute kid," I say staring off in the direction that they had walked off "I didn't know you were good with kids."

"I don't really consider myself good with kids. I just know that a lot of them love the wrestling business."

I nod at him in agreement.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom, don't go anywhere." I say with a smile as I climb out of the pool.

"Okay."

Unfortunately, the walk from the pool to the bathroom was extremely long and I had already passed the chair where our stuff was at when I thought about getting my shirt to cover up with.

The looks I get on the walk make my heart jump into my throat. Some of them glare at me and some of them look at me in disgust. I try to ignore the eyes as they bore into my body, but I just couldn't.

Thankfully the bathroom was only 10 more feet away.

When I walk into the bathroom 2 out of the 3 stalls are full. So I walk into the only open one and do my business. I stop when I hear the other two women in the bathroom talking.

"Did you see that one girl? She was in the striped top and navy bottoms."

"Yeah, she's here with Dean Ambrose. He's waaay out of her league."

"Who's that? Is he from that wrestling stuff you watch? I don't care either way, he's hot."

"Well, there's no doubt about that. Why is he here with her? She's so fat and unsightly to look at."

I gulp. Did I want to go out and whoop their asses? Yes. Was I going too? No. The things they were saying about me were too heartbreaking to do anything.

Instead, I peak out of the bathroom stall and try to catch a glimpse of them. They were both blonde and only one of them seemed to be a natural blonde. Both women were tanned and skinny and again I felt my heart jump to my throat again.

They were right. I wasn't good enough to be with Dean. He could have any girl and he chose me. It had to be out of pity. Why else? I was fat and horrible, nobody should ever want me. It was what my mother had always told me.

"_You'll never amount to anything."_

"_You're a useless fat slut. Go die."_

All the insults she had ever told me get tossed around in my head. Then the things that the blondes had said about me get added in there, along with the things people would say about me in school. The tears immediately start to stream down my face.

I squat down next to the toilet and stick my fingers down my throat. The little breakfast that I had, had comes back and spews in to the toilet. I start sobbing even harder, and I break out in a sheen sweat. I try once again and the dinner I had from the night before makes an appearance.

Now my tears were nowhere close to stopping.

"Elle?"

Fuck. Didn't Dean know that he wasn't allowed in the women's bathroom? I try to calm down before answering back to him.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay? You've been in there awhile." He says. I can see his bare feet padding over to the stall I occupied. Barefoot in a bathroom is never a good idea.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I answer back at him; this wasn't going to end well.

"No, you're not. I can tell that you've been crying."

"No, I haven't." I say lying. I didn't know why I was lying but I was.

"Stop lying, and let me in." He demands.

When the door doesn't open for him he says, "If you don't open up right now, I swear to God I'll kick the door down."

Quickly, I wipe my tears and flush the toilet. Hopefully, I could just convince him that what the girls said had made me cry and nothing else. I just hoped he couldn't smell the acidy smell of my barf.

I open up the bathroom door, and he glances at the toilet that was behind me.

"What was in the toilet?" He questions.

"My pee?" I say even though it comes out more as a question. He will know I'm lying now.

"Did you make yourself throw up Elle?" He demands. He sounds so angry and a little disappointed. I'm brought back to what he said to me the morning after we first had sex and he kicked me out.

"_Because no one likes a whiny, insecure, anorexic bitch."_

I stare up at him, "Yes." I whisper.

He shakes his head in disappointment and I can only imagine what he's going to say to me. What actually come out of his mouth surprises me.

"Elle…we've talked about this. You don't need to feel that way. You don't need to do that. You're perfect to me. I think you're the only one that doesn't see it."

"That's a lie," I state "There were some girls in here and they were talking about me. They didn't see it. My mom never could see it."

"Were those girls the reason you're doing this?" He asks with realization.

"Yes." I say trying to look anywhere but at him.

"What were they saying?" With that question, everything just tumbles out of my mouth.

"They said I was fat and ugly. That wasn't what really what got to me, I've heard that before. They said you were out of my league, and that I wasn't good enough. And it just created a chain reaction. There are so many other girls, Dean. So many _better _girls. And you're stuck with me. Then I started to remember when my mother would call me useless, and a waste of space. And I…I-I just." I say, not being able to finish. I knew that Dean must of hated hearing this.

"Elle, those girls were obviously jealous. And yeah, there may be other girls, but none of them are you. The fact that you think so lowly of yourself physically hurts me. I'm not stuck with you either, I'm with you because I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you, Sunshine." He finishes, sounding so heartbroken that I feel bad for ever making myself throw up.

I smile at him and I taste the tears that I hadn't noticed had started falling again.

"I'm sorry. I know you hate when I go whiny." I say, trying to test if he had really meant what he had said that one morning.

"You're thinking about when I called you a whiny, insecure, anorexic bitch. Aren't you?"

I nod at him, no point in lying.

"I was just saying that to so your feelings would be hurtand you would leave. But you know now that I didn't want you to leave, right?"

I sigh, that made me feel better.

"I love you, Dean. And I don't know what I would do if you didn't accept all my broken parts."

"You accept mine." He says staring down at me. He leans down to kiss me but I push him away.

"My breath probably smells horrible," I say with a warning tone. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't kiss me."

He rolls his eyes at me but agrees nonetheless.

"How about we go to the room, get changed, and then check out?" He asks slinging his arm around my shoulder and walking us to the door.

"Wait, wait," I say stopping him "Mess your hair up."

He looks at me confused, as I also make my head messy. "I want to make it look like we just had amazing bathroom sex."

He smirks at me. "That's the Elle I know."

Once I thought we looked rough enough, Dean slings his arm back around my shoulder and we walk out of the bathroom.

I feel eyes on me, and I turn my head to see the girls from the bathroom. I smirk at them before flipping them off.

They gasp, and I hear a chuckle in my ear.

"Those must be the girls?" He whispers. I give him a small nod.

He laughs again before kissing my cheek.

I couldn't remember another time in my life when I had felt as happy as I did at that moment.


	17. Chapter 17

**This was fast, right? Hope you enjoy! And yes I know that Zigglee are broken up but I don't care, okay? I'm still in denial about it.**

**WARNING! Kidding, there's not warning. But I do have a twitter page for my fan fiction account. I wanted to separate my personal one and this one because I have friends following me on my personal and I DO NOT need them giving me shit about writing. Anyway, on the page you'll find chapter sneak peeks, when I'll be posting, and outfits from chapters! You can also ask question about the story, if you chose to do so! Link is on my profile!**

**And my lovely reviewers were** _nic-002001, DeeMarie426, niki 1981, DahBomb, 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, MissAmieB, _**and** _thejoker122_

Dean and I had returned from Disneyland about 2 weeks ago, and our relationship was still going strong. At first, I thought it would be bad that we spent so much time together, but in reality we were closer than ever.

Also, since coming back from Disneyland my bond with AJ had become strong. She was one of the closest friends I had ever had. When I ever I did happen to need a break from Dean I always went to AJ.

Currently I was in catering with AJ, Dolph, and Big E. The Shield were off at a signing somewhere, and now that I wasn't their personal photographer I wasn't required to go with them. There were only 3 hours till the house show of Raw, so the four of us were just hanging out.

"So do you and Dean want to go out for drinks with us tonight?" AJ asks.

"Oh…I don't know. Dean doesn't really like drinking with groups." I say. It wasn't a lie either. I didn't drink much as it was, but when Dean and I did go out it was usually a small bar and just the two of us. We would share a quiet conversation. I liked it better that way. It was a lot more intimate than a crowded club with loud music, and people throwing up everywhere.

"Or does he just not like us? We hang out all the time and he never really has came around…" AJ trails off innocently. I wasn't sure what to say. Dean didn't have a problem with them, they just didn't run in the same circles, and Dean wasn't the best at making friends. He preferred just to have a small group of people he could trust. That group consisted of me, Seth, and Roman.

"Yeah, Bambi, does your boy not like us?" Big E asks using the nickname he and Dolph had adopted for me since I started hanging out with them.

"I mean…I don't know."

"Oh c'mon, guys. Don't do that to Elle." Dolph says joining in on the conversation.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Just let me ask him okay?" I say trying to end the conversation.

"Oh, speak of the devil." AJ says looking over my shoulder, where Dean, Roman, and Seth wer walking up the hallway to come into catering. I immediately walk out of catering to talk to Dean. I would hate to ask him while they were right in front of him. But I knew that no matter what Dean's answer was it wouldn't have been influenced by their presence.

"Dean! Can I speak to you?" I ask him.

"Sure thing, Sunshine. Guys give us a minute?" Seth and Roman nod before walking off.

"So…um what do you think about going out tonight?" I ask, deciding to slide into the question.

"I think that's a great idea." He says nodding, and beginning to walk away. He obviously thought our conversation was over.

"Well, it won't be our usual scene. It'll be a club…" I say trailing off.

"A club?" He asks, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Well, yeah… Someone invited us." I say sheepishly.

"Who invited us?" He asks the confused look not leaving his face.

"AJ. Dolph and Big E will be there." I say.

"Oh…I don't know. The club scene is really me. I didn't think it was really you either."

"It's not really. But AJ doesn't think you like them."

"Well, I mean…"

"Please, Dean. Please." I say pleading with him. The only reason I wanted Dean to go out with them is because I wanted to prove something. On more than one occasion Big E and Dolph had joked about how crazy and cold Dean was. It had made me angry because I knew that wasn't what Dean was like once you got to know him. He would only show that special side of him to his tight-knit group of friends. I just wanted to show the others a glimpse of that side.

"Fine." He says finally.

"Thank you!" I say with a smile. I kiss his cheek before running off to tell AJ that we would indeed be joining the rest of them tonight.

**~x~**

I hadn't gone to a club since I was about 22 so I wasn't sure what the dress code was nowadays. Whenever it would just be Dean and I at a bar I would always wear jeans and a nice shirt. But I had the feeling that the place AJ was taking us that wouldn't be acceptable.

I was so confused I had googled 'What to wear when clubbing'. When I looked at the images that had come up they were all of girls wearing super short and tight dresses. I wasn't sure I was too comfortable with that. But I was feeling oddly confident so I decide to wear a something a little out of my comfort zone. It was a form-fitting black dress with sheer lace surrounding my bust. **(AN:. / Insert shameless plug for my twitter here! Link on profile!) **And my hair fell in its natural wavy state.

I step out of the hotel bathroom after sliding on my nude heels.

"Wow, Elle. You look…wow." Dean says eyeing me up and down.

"Is that a compliment?" I ask, spinning around in a circle for him to get the full view. Dean abruptly gets up from his spot on the bed and wraps his arms around my waist.

"How about we stay here…" He trails off, whispering into my ear.

"No, no." I say back to him.

"Awh, but why?" He asks shooting me his best puppy dog eyes.

"If you do this for me…I'll reward you." I say smirking up at him.

"Promise?" He asks holding out his pinky.

"Promise." I say nodding at him and interlocking his finger with mine.

**~x~**

"And she just chased you guys without a shirt?" Big E asks with hearty chuckle.

"Yeah," Dean laughs "Most bizarre fan experience ever."

I smile, not even paying attention to the conversation. After Dean had gotten a few drinks in him he was talking to Dolph and Big E like they were old friends. I didn't care that they were talking about an old women who had asked for an autograph on her boob, and then chased him when he said he didn't have time; I was just glad that Dean was getting along with my friends.

"Bambi, how do you feel about that?" Big E asked. Currently, it was just Dean, Big E, and I at the table, Dolph and AJ were on the dance floor.

"Eh, it could be worse." I say with a smile.

"Bambi?" Dean asked. At that moment Dolph and AJ decided to join us.

"It's was Big E and I call her." Dolph says sitting down and taking a swig out of his beer.

"Oh." Dean says. I hoped that didn't make him jealous. I knew how Dean could get.

"Yeah, Elle gets a nickname from Dolph and I don't and he's _my _boyfriend!" AJ exclaims.

"Oh c'mon. I call you babe." Dolph says defending himself.

"That's not the kind of nickname I want, you know that Ziggles." AJ says. I see Dean fighting a smile next to me at the mention of Dolph's nickname.

"Well…Dean, do you have a nickname for Elle?" Dolph asks. He must've thought the answer was going to be no.

"Yes, actually…I call her Sunshine." He says as he places his hand on my knee underneath the table and squeezes it.

"Sunshine!?" AJ squeals "That's so cute!"

Dolph sighs with defeat.

"Don't worry, Dolph. I don't have a nickname for Dean."

"Aha! See, it must be like protocol for only one member of the relationship to have a nickname." He says, like he had just discovered the best thing since sliced bread.

As I smile on at the couple in front of me and I feel Dean squeeze my knee again, and his hand trails up to my thigh. His touch sends tingles down my spine, and I pray to God that I wasn't blushing, because I knew someone would call me out on it. I realize that it Dean was getting restless and it was ready for his 'reward', so I knew it was time to leave.

"Well, guys it's been fun. But we have got to go." I say with a sad smile, while standing up.

"So soon?" AJ asks as she stands up to hug me goodbye.

"Yes, I'm sorry…maybe we can go shopping or something tomorrow?'

"Sounds great!" She says cheerily.

"Are you really going to leave me here with them?" Big E asks.

"Yup, sorry." I say, but I was not sorry in the slightest knowing what I was going to be doing instead of hanging around with him.

"Well, Dean it was nice to actually talk to you. We thought that maybe Bambi handcuffed you to the bed so you couldn't talk to us." Dolph says with a smile.

"Only because he's into it." I say cheekily, while grabbing Dean's hand and exiting the club.

Our hotel was only 10 blocks away so we had walked to the club.

After a bit of silence during our walk I ask, "Did you have fun tonight or were you just faking?"

"No, I genuinely had fun tonight. I wasn't expecting to enjoy myself as much as I did."

"See, you just have to give people a chance." I say smiling up at him.

"Yeah, but I don't really think that I like Big E hanging around you so much."

I stop walking and pull my hand from his. "What?"

"It's just I can tell he likes you as more than a friend." He says with a shrug.

I roll my eyes. Not this again. It seemed as I could never interact with any other men besides him, Seth, and Roman without Dean thinking that there was something more going on.

"You say that about every guy on the roster." I snap at him.

"It's because those men cannot be trusted. Why can't you see that?" He asks angrily.

"Whatever. Just keep walking; it's late and we still have 6 blocks to go." I say snippily, without even waiting for his approval before walking off. I fold my arms over my chest so I could avoid him trying to reach for my hand.

After we walk in silence for a while he speaks up, "I'm sorry, okay. I don't mean to be so possessive over you. It's just that we went through so much to get where we are now and I don't want that ruined because someone steals you away from me."

I stop walking once again and look up at him with a smile.

"It's okay. I can understand that. But you have to know that I would never leave you for someone else. It's like I said before, Dean. You're stuck with me." I say placing my hands on his shoulders and leaning in to kiss him gently.

Once I pull away, I whisper "At the moment Dean, you're it. There's no one else after you."

"I feel the same." He whispers.

I kiss him passionately once more, before we start walking again. We fall into an easy conversation. Usually, when Dean and I did have our little tiffs we would always work it out within a day. I thought that was because we simply couldn't go more than a day without being around each other.

We had finally arrived at the hotel and on our floor, when I noticed a figure lurking around our hotel room door. I feel Dean tense up beside me when he spots the person also. The figure was too tiny to be a man, so I knew it was a female. Once we are close enough that I can recognize the figure I inhale sharply.

"What are you doing here?" I ask trying to keep my voice steady.

"Nice to see you too, Eleanor."


	18. Chapter 18

**Here you guys are. I got such a great response from the last chapter I cranked this out pretty damn fast. Again, check twitter because I need friends! **

**My reviewers were **_DahBomb, 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, MissAmieB, DeeMarie426, Leah Pensotti, KayNicole90, __**and especially **__LadyEvil21_**! You guys are great. **

"Mother, what a lovely surprise." I breathe. Dean widens his eyes and looks over at me.

"You don't make it sound too lovely. I just wanted to see what you were up to. You left without so much of a goodbye." She says crossing her arms and looking at me with a scrutinizing gaze.

"Don't act like you missed me." I say with a roll of my green eyes that looked exactly like hers.

"Oh, but I have sweetie. I've missed you very much. Aren't you going to let me in?" She says reaching out and trying to squeeze my cheeks. What surprised me was that Dean hadn't said I word since I started the conversation, he usually had input on everything. I wasn't sure if I cared, I wanted this over and I wanted her gone.

"Mom, it's late. And we're tired."

"Of course the _both _of you are. Who is this handsome young man?"

"I'm-"Dean starts before my mother stops him.

"No, no. I know who you are. You're Dean. My daughter followed you and your stable around for a month and in the process not only did she get in your pants but she also got a permanent job for WWE. She really has made something of herself."

"Mom, please. Just go."

"But sweetie, I just want to reconnect with you. I know we haven't had the same mother-daughter relationship since your father died and I just want to try and fix things." She says with false sincerity. Well, I knew it was false. I had been around her long enough to know that she was manipulative and never failed to get what she wanted. It appeared to only have gotten worse with her age.

"Mom-"

"Please. Just come out to dinner with me tomorrow night. You can even bring Dean. If you still don't want to have any connections with me afterwards I'll never bother you again."

"C'mon Elle, she's your mom." Dean says speaking up and eyeing us warily.

My eyes widen. This was going to escalate quickly if we didn't retrieve to the room.

"Mom, we'll see." I say, this needed to end.

"I'll be at the café across the street a 6, if you chose to come out." With that she walks off and I'm left with Dean in the hallway.

"I can't believe you." I say angrily as I slide our keycard through the slot to open of the door. When there is an electronic beeping I turn the door handle and storm into the room.

"What did I do?" He asked with a layer of confusion tinting his voice.

"How dare you step into my business?!" I say kicking off my heels with so much force when they hit the wall and make a loud thudding noise.

"Elle, I wasn't stepping into your business. I was just stating an opinion." He says shrugging lightly.

"Look, Dean. I love that you have an opinion even though you're fucking wrong." I say snidely. Oh, the nerve of him.

"Elle, why won't you give her a chance? She sounds genuine."

"Of course she sounds genuine! She's a manipulative bitch! She allows you to think that she so nice and so lovely, but she only does that to so she can get what she wants!"

"I doubt that, Elle. You should be thankful that your mother is reaching out to you. Mine never gave a damn."

My eyes widen, was he trying to guilt me into this?

"Dean, I spent enough of my life with her to know what she is like. You met her for 5 minutes and you've only heard stories about her. And even in those stories I told you how bitchy she was. How on earth do you think she's changed?"

"You'll never know Elle, if you don't go to dinner with her."

"Dean…" I sigh, walking into the bathroom to change in my pajamas. I was supposed to 'reward' Dean but my mom showing up had put me on edge, and Dean had managed to put me in a mood.

I come out of the bathroom in sleep pants and an old t-shirt, and I see Dean visibly slump with disappointment from seeing my attire.

"Hmph." I make the sound, with a flip of my hair. I also make sure to sway my hips more than usual as I walk to the bed. Maybe next time he would think before he let shit spew out of his mouth.

I climb into the bed and tuck myself in. It's not long until I feel the bed sink down beside me.

"Sunshine," He whispers wrapping his arms around my waist. I close my eyes tightly. I would not succumb to his ways.

Once he realizes that I wasn't going to put up with his shit, he pulls and says "Fine. Be that way."

**~x~**

The next evening, I unhappily get dressed to meet my mother for dinner. To say that I was less than happy about it would be an understatement.

"Are we talking now?" Dean asks after coming out of the bathroom from a shower. He had just come back from a Smackdown taping, and before that he had, had a meeting with Vince. He'd been gone all day.

"Eh, I guess." I say smirking at him. If we had a big fight I would storm off but if it was just a small spat like we had last night, Dean would usually allow me to simmer down and then I was over it.

"Good." He says nodding at me with a smile.

"You know…since I'm doing this for you, this counts as your reward." I say looking at him pointedly.

"It does not, considering you should be doing this anyway." He says raising his eyebrows at me.

I could feel an argument coming on so I quickly drop the subject. It wasn't worth fighting over.

"C'mon," I sigh heavily "We've got a bitch to meet." I mutter the last part to myself.

The walk to the café is short and silence. When we walk in I immediately spot my mother. She was sitting at an out of the way table and her hands were folded and sitting in front of her. When she spots us she immediately stands up and a huge smile spreads across her face. I actually had trouble deciding if it was fake or not.

"Eleanor, darling." she says leaning in for a hug, when I don't respond she squeezes me so hard that I fear my intestines will come out of my mouth.

"Dean, hello handsome." She says with another smile and she leans into hug him. He has no problem hugging her back. Was my mother a cougar now also?

We sit down at the table and I swear the silence was going to suffocate me.

Soon, a waitress comes and takes our drink orders. I'm more than surprised when my mom doesn't order an alcoholic beverage.

"You don't get drunk before noon anymore, mother?"

"No, darling. I'm clean." She says with a smile. I almost spit out the water I had taken a sip of.

"What?" I whisper in disbelief.

"I knew that you would have nothing to do with me so I went to rehab and got clean. It's been a little over a month. I went shortly after you left."

"Really?" I wasn't sure if I believed her or not. But it sounded like the most genuine thing she had said since I first encountered her yesterday.

"Of course, Eleanor. I want things right between us. After your father died, I know that I changed. Can't you just forget what I did then and remember what I was like before he died?"

"Mom, how am I supposed to forget that you called me useless? That you called me a slut? That you called me fat? That day in and day out you never failed to remind me of my anorexia? That you-"

"Elle, that's enough." Dean says speaking up. I look up him murderously.

"No, Dean it's not enough. You don't know what it was like. She wasn't like this, this isn't her. She's a manipulative bitch. Don't begin to act like you know her." I say through gritted teeth.

"You need to give her a chance." He says looking at me.

I look at him dubiously. Were they secretly planning together? Why in the hell was he so insistent on me making amends with my mother? It didn't concern him

"Really, Dean…really? So you're telling me that if your father came back into the picture you would just let him back in with no questions asked?"

"If he was trying as hard as your mother, then yes."

My eyes widen. "That's bullshit, and you know it." I say angrily. I had gotten so angry that I abruptly stand up from my seat and take off without so much of a word.

"Just let her cool down, she'll come around." I hear Dean say as I storm off. I refuse to come around. My mother had come into the picture and regardless of the stories I had told Dean, he still was taking her side. I thought he was automatically was supposed to take mine. Or maybe he wasn't. I didn't know.

But I did know that I needed a drink. And I needed it fast.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys. This chapter is shorter but I did get it out fast. No outfits on twitter so you don't have to check, unless you want too!**

_Miss Paige L, DahBomb, MissAmieB, niki 1981, _**and **_1 Crazy Brunette Goddess _**are all lovely for reviewing!**

I walk into the bar that was located in the lobby of the hotel, while clutching myself tightly. On the walk here I had gotten over my anger towards the situation and was more hurt than anything. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why Dean was more than happy to let my mother in so easily. I had told him about how horrible my mother had treated me and he was trying to convince me to let her in. I shake my head to get rid of the thoughts, and I take a seat at the bar.

"What can I get for you, Miss?" The bartender asks.

"Uhm, just a Budweiser please."

"Sure thing." He says rushing off before placing the bottle in front of me.

"Thank you."

"No problem, it's free. It looks like you need it." He says sympathetically before going off to tend to someone else further down from me.

I sigh to myself. Was it that obvious that I had, had a bad night? I don't do anything for while except stare down into my beer bottle. I wasn't crying about the events-they weren't _that _bad- but I still felt in aching in my chest. These series of events were defiantly interesting.

"Elle? Is that you?"

"Mike, yeah it's me." I say turning to the man that had come up beside me. For a minute I wondered what he was doing here, but then I remembered that this was where most of the superstars and divas were staying.

"Trouble in paradise?" He asks glancing around me to I guess look for Dean.

"No." I sigh. Dean wasn't exactly my problem, it was more my mother and the influence she was making on Dean.

"You don't sound too sure." He says as he takes a seat beside me. He must've planned on staying awhile. Mike and I had ended on okay terms. When I told him that I wanted to end things, he had nodded and said that he knew I had feelings for Dean and that he didn't want to get in between us. We weren't exactly friends after that either though. And that made me wonder why he was here talking to me. Was he concerned about me or was he just planning to try something?

"I'm not, really." I sigh.

"I'm sure it'll be fine." He says with a reassuring smile.

"Did you need something, Mike? Or are you just being friendly?" I ask bluntly. I really wanted to skip the bullshit. I wasn't in the mood.

"Just being friendly, I was lonely and I recognized you."

"Really?" I raise my eyebrows at him in question.

He smirks at me and I realized I had just used one of his catchphrases.

"Really."

I laugh at him and we fall into an easy conversation. I had forgotten how good Mike's company was. And he surprisingly didn't make any passes at me.

2 beers later, I felt holes being burnt into the side of my head. I wanted to look but I already knew who it was without.

"Dean's in the lobby. With some lady who looks almost like you." Mike says, looking out of the window to confirm my suspicions.

"That's my mother." I sigh taking a sip out of my beer.

"Ah, I see. Is that why you guys had a falling out?"

"Well, it wasn't really a falling out. He just was taking her side, and I thought he was supposed to side with me, right? Isn't that how relationships work? Isn't that men are supposed to do?"

"Well, I don't honestly know. We're supposed to, because the female gender tends to get pissed if we don't. You're a prime example." He says looking at me pointedly.

"Shut up. It's just that my mother has done some pretty bad shit, and Dean just…he just want me to accept her apology and make her mother of the year. But that's not who I am. I tend to hold grudges." I say with a shrug.

"How long are you going to hold this grudge?"

"Probably just overnight."

"And you guys won't talk about it?" He asks incredulously.

"No…"

"You that's really unhealthy?" He asks. It's true, it was unhealthy. My relationships usually were not great, but I knew that each time a couple had a conflict you were supposed to talk it out with one another. But the spats that Dean and I had weren't really conflicts. It was just one of us getting pissed; walking away to calm down, and then everything was fine. It wasn't healthy, but it was effective.

"I know, but-"

"No, you don't have to explain. I know Dean must be a complicated guy. And he appears to be possessive considering the way he is killing me with his eyes right now."

I laugh, "He possessive, but he just cares a lot."

"Right, well are you getting tired?"

"Yeah," I say yawning conveniently "I guess I should turn in for the night."

"Do you want me to walk you to your room?"

"Not my room, I called AJ earlier and I'm sleeping in her room."

"Ew, with Dolph too? Those two go at it like rabbits. I had the room next to them once."

I laugh, "That's gross. But I just need to calm down."

"I can still walk you, if you want." He says holding his arms out for me to take.

Out of spite, I said yes. Yes, I had a fleeting feeling of guilt when I walked past Dean and my mom, when instead of an angry expression on Dean's face he look incredibly hurt. Well, now he knew what it felt like to be betrayed. I also had a fleeting thought that I was being overdramatic. That was something my mother had always called me. She said I was overreacting when I first started making myself throw up. It was another reason why I couldn't forgive her.

"Wow," Mike starts once we were on AJ's floor "He looked really upset."

"Yeah…I _almost_ feel bad."

"Oh c'mon, Elle. Don't be that way, he really cares about you."

I sigh, "I know, I just…"

"No, it's okay. This is your stop, Elle." Mike says.

"Thanks Mike."

"No problem. Call me sometime; I forgot how great of a friend you were." He says before turning and heading in the opposite direction.

I had texted AJ earlier in the night, so when I knocked on the door it didn't take her long to answer.

"Hey, Elle" She says looking at me like I was a kicked puppy, "Do you want anything? Maybe we can watch some movies and have ice cream?"

I raise my eyes at her, "AJ, it's not a big deal. No need to call in the big guns, save them when we have a big fight, okay?"

"Well, if this isn't a big fight why are you staying here?" She asks. I knew that it was an innocent question but it made me angry.

"I just am, okay?" I say agitated.

"Okay, Okay." She says raising her arms up in front of her. I felt bad for snapping at her so I shoot her a smile as she lets me in. If she got angry at me I wasn't sure who I would run too.

She shows me to the extra hotel bed and she lends me one of her t-shirts. And soon enough I was snuggled into bed fast asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Here's another for you. Hope you enjoy! Check Twitter!**

_DeeMarie426, Miss Paige Elle, Em, AnonForNow Leah Pensotti, MissAmieB, KayNicole90, DahBomb,_ _Dixon'sBikerBabe**(whose avatar is perfection), **niki1981, **and** 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess_ **are all lovely lovely people, and they make my day!**

The next morning I decide that it's time to face my demons, so I get dressed in the same clothes that I wore the day before and make my way to the room that Dean and I were supposed to stay in.

When I stumble into the room I see that Dean was sitting up in one of the beds smoking a cigarette. Both beds were made in that special way that only maids could make them, so I inferred that he hadn't slept all night.

"Nice to see you this morning." He exhales blowing smoke out.

"I could say the same about you. Where's my mother this morning?" I ask putting my purse and room key down on a table.

"The room across the hall. Where's Mike this morning?" He asks snidely. I immediately still and look at him dead in the eyes.

"In his room." I say casually. What was he getting at?

"Is that where you came from? No wonder your mother used to think you were a slut. I'll have to tell her you went back to your old ways." He says this like he's talking about the weather instead of insulting me.

"Well, it's not a surprise that you would agree with her."

"So, it's true then? You fucked Mike last night?" He asks, putting his cigarette out.

"No." I say angrily, the fact that he would think I would do that so easily pissed me off.

"Then why didn't you come to the room last night? You did leave with him." He says trying to catch me in a lie.

"Yeah, I did leave with him. But I slept in AJ's room last night. But thank you for jumping to conclusions." I say before going to my suitcase to pick an outfit. I planned to change then do some shopping with AJ. Originally, my plan was to make up with Dean and we would go get lunch or something but he had managed to piss me off.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. I'm hurt that you would think that lowly of me, Dean." I say while digging in my suitcase.

"Well, what was I supposed to think? I mean, you left with him and you stayed gone all night. I could deal with you leaving with him. But then when you didn't come back…"

"Dean, you're supposed to trust me!"

"Well, maybe if you didn't act like a 5 year old and run off every time we had a fight I wouldn't think the worst!" He yells.

I whip around to face him, "Don't make this my fault! I got pissed and ran off last night so I wouldn't say something I would regret. You're only pissed right now, because you're so damn possessive!" I yell back at him, my chest heaving up and down.

"Possessive? It doesn't make me possessive if I don't like other men around my girlfriend!"

I roll my eyes, "You don't even treat me like your girlfriend when other men are around." By now, I had gathered my clothing and other things for the day and I was inching towards the door just in case this got any worse.

"Then what do I treat you like?"

"Like a toy on the playground. When all the other kids even look at your toy you glare at them. Lord only knows what happens when they touch your toy!"

"Well, that's because you're mine."

"I'm not your damn possession, Dean!" I yell.

"Damn right, you are! You're my bitch." He says his voice lowering to a snide town.

I quickly slap him hard across the face, and when I pull my hand away it stings. Then I storm out of the door, and back to AJ's room. How dare he call me is bitch? If he didn't watch his step I wasn't going to be around for him to call me such things.

**~x~**

By the time I had gotten to AJ's room, had gotten dressed, and she had gotten dressed I was calmed down.

The first place we went to was a video game shop. AJ had said she wanted to something new to play on her PS3 or something and I left her to find that something. I wasn't too familiar with video games except for The Mario Brothers games and that was it. While AJ was browsing I was left to my thoughts about Dean. It hadn't been my intention to get in a fight with him, which was what I tried to avoid each time I ran away. But running away from our fight was not working anymore. Sadly, I did know that we would have to talk about _everything_ or we would not work.

My phone signals a text message and it brings me out of my thoughts.

'_We need to talk. About everything.' _The text was of course from Dean.

'_Do I need to bring a list?' _I text back jokingly, the things we needed to talk about were list-worthy.

'_No. Just be at coffee shop across from across the video game shop' _He texts back. He obviously couldn't take a joke right now.

'_You knew where I am, don't you?' _I text back, this couldn't have been a coincidence, not when there were many other places we could meet.

'_Dolph told me.'_

I figured as much. I leave the rest of the conversation for when we can talk face to face.

"AJ," I call out trying to find her through the many aisles of videogames.

"Yeah?" She asks poking her head over an aisle to look at me.

"Dean's across the street, we're going to talk." I say looking out the window.

"Ah, well good luck. Call me if you need anything."

I nod at her before exiting the store. I look both ways before crossing the street like a good citizen would do. When I walk in I immediately spot Dean, thankfully at a secluded table so I could punch him if I needed to.

We don't say anything for a while but when a lady working at the shop gets our orders, we remember that we were there to to talk instead of stare at each other.

"Where to start first?" He asks

"Well, I brought at list." I say.

"Did you really?" He asks dubiously.

"No, but I do know where we need to start."

"Go on then."

"Well, we should talk about these mommy issues." I say with a nod.

"What issues?" He asks raising his eyebrows at me, "The only issue is that you're a bitch to her."

"She was a bitch to me first." I say. After the words come out of my mouth I realize that I just sounded childish.

"Yeah, that may be true. But you need to let it go. Be the bigger person, if you will." He says.

"Dean, would you honestly do that if the tables were turned?" I ask raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yes."

"Whatever. How about this? You let me do what I want and not get involved with my business with my mother. You can have your opinion about it, but stop trying to force it on me."

He stares at me for a moment. "Fine, but only if you promise to stop running off every time we have an argument. That never fixes anything; it just sweeps it under the rug to be brought back up another time."

"I only do that to avoid conflict, you know that." I say exasperated.

"Yes, but it's not a good habit to have."

"Fine, but if I stay around long enough for a fight for now on, you might get hit." I say. That was the only reason I hit him today. If I would've left sooner that never would have gave him the opportunity to call me his bitch.

"I'll probably deserve it, so it won't be a big deal."

"Next order of business?" I ask. We had taken care of all most all of our issues. Except for one; his possessiveness.

"I'd imagine it would be my so called 'possessiveness'" He says with a role of his eyes.

"Right you are. And you can't honestly tell me that you don't believe you're possessive."

"I'm just protecting you, Sunshine."

"I can do that on my own." I say crossing my arms over my chest.

"You say that, but I see the way men look at you. You may not see it, but I do. They look at you like you're something to eat. It's not my fault that I feel the need to put them in their place."

"I see where you're coming from, Dean, I do. But you should trust me enough to know that I'll tell them to back up if they get to close." I say, trying to reason with him.

"It's not you I don't trust, Elle. It's them."

I sigh heavily, "I understand. But can you tone it down? Whenever we go out I don't feel like your girlfriend. I feel-"

"You feel like my toy. I know, it was a _lovely _metaphor you came up with," He says. His voice drips with sarcasm on the word lovely. "But what do you expect? I just don't want anybody else touching my 'toy', as you call yourself."

I raise my eyebrows at him, "One, I don't call myself you're toy, I just said I felt like it. Two, again I understand. I wouldn't want anybody touching you either-"

"Glad you see it my way." He interrupts me.

"I wasn't finished. I wouldn't want anybody touching you either but all the guys you glare at don't even come near me."

"That because I scare them off." He says purposely.

"Yes, but can't you wait until I'm actually in danger of someone touching me before you scare them off?"

He stares at me for a long moment, mulling over something in his head.

"Fine."

I smile brightly at him. "Great! Now one more thing. If you _ever _call me your bitch again, I _will _make sure to castrate you, and then feed your balls to sharks." I say glaring at him coldly.

He looks taken aback for a moment before he manages to find his words. "I don't doubt that one bit. And I'm sorry about that, it was a heat of the moment thing."

"It's okay, for now."

"How about to make it up to you…We go see a movie tonight and then grab some beers?"

I smile at him, we seemed to be good again. And for that I was very thankful.

"I'd like that a lot."

The corners of his mouth turn up before he pays the bill for the coffee, and then we leave hand and hand.


	21. Chapter 21

**This is kind of a filler chapter, and its not my best, but I hope you enjoy anyway. Check twitter!**

**Thank you **_Beth's Beautiful Game **(And Jenna-Louise Coleman, huh? I could see it), **Miss Paige L, MissAmieB, DeeMarie426, ghunter182003, 1 Crazy Burnette Goddess, and niki 1981 _**for reviewing! It means alot!**

"I wasn't aware that going to the movies and then drinks required nice dress." Dean says eyeing me up and down. I was wearing a green dress with gold accessories.

"It doesn't, but we rarely ever go on a real date. So, I decided to dress up a bit." I say smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles in my dress.

"Well, I'm not complaining. Are you ready?" He asks holding his hand out to me. I gladly take and we begin to quick trip to local movie theater.

**~x~**

"That was ridiculous." I laugh.

"You're ridiculous," Dean says back at me as we walk out of the theater. "When you take a girl to a scary movie they're supposed to get scared! But you, you sit there and laugh threw the whole thing."

"I'm sorry that I don't find scary movies scary unless they're realistic. Evil Dead was simply not realistic." I say with a shrug. I enjoyed horror movies don't get me wrong, but I liked laughing at them more than anything.

"Whatever." Dean chuckles at me.

"Well, I did enjoy the movie." I say with a smile.

"Good, I didn't waste my money then."

I laugh at him. I was very thankful that our fight yesterday had been forgotten since we talked about it. I now had the full intention to talk through our fights from now on.

"Just buy me some drinks," I say elbowing him in his ribs before linking hands with him.

**~x~**

"So, where are you going to be next week?" Dean asks me referring to where I was going to work from the following week. I could stay on the road and get pictures for next month's magazine, or I could stay at home and edit.

"I'm not sure. I have a deadline to meet with the pictures I took at Summerslam for the magazine. I can't believe that I have been permanently on the staff for 3 months. Not counting when I did you guys."

"It doesn't feel that long at all. That means we've been dating for a little less than 3 months then?"

I nod at him.

"I remember the day we met like it was yesterday." He stats as a he gets a faraway look in his eyes.

"Me too, you hated me."

"Not exactly."

"Oh, really?" I ask dubiously.

"I just didn't want to get too close to you."

"Well, we know how that turned out, don't we?" I ask him with a smile on my face.

"Not too well." He admits and I laugh.

"Why didn't you want to get too close?"

"I get attached too easily. Which was what happened with my last girlfriend. I let her in just for her to just want out."

I vaguely remembered Seth telling me about her all those months ago.

"Her name was Sam. We had known each other since high school, though we didn't start dating until we were 20."

"What happened?" I ask even though I partially knew the answer. I wondered if he would go into detail.

"She didn't like how big my wrestling career was getting. I don't think she really ever approved."

"You guys must have dated for a long time."

"Yeah, that was one of the main reasons she broke up with me. She wanted to get married, but I thought my wrestling was at its prime. I told I would marry her, but she said she didn't want to be a wrestler's wife." He says. And from the look on his face I didn't even think he knew where he was. The look in his eyes was so far away.

"Wow. Have you seen her since?"

"Yeah, it was one week after The Shield debuted on RAW, she came to me saying she wanted to get back together."

"Did you?" I ask curiously.

"No, I was pretty certain it was only because I had finally made it. I don't think she expected for me to actually get anywhere."

"It must've sucked not having your own girlfriend believe in you."

"Yeah, you're different than her."

I raise my eyebrows at him.

"In a good way." He interjects quickly.

"She was very compliant, quiet, and sweet. We would always do whatever I wanted, and she would never argue. The only thing we ever argued about was my wrestling."

"Heaven knows I'm far from that. And you said you agreed to marry her, did you like propose?"

"Yeah, but I like that about you. No, I just said I would if she wanted me too. I loved her a lot though."

"I'm sorry she left you."

"Not so bad now, I have you." He says with a grin before reaching over to grab my hand in his much bigger one. I smile back at him.

"Did you want to get married to her?"

"Yeah, I did. That's where all successful relationships are supposed to end right?"

"I guess."

"You don't believe in marriage then?" He asks raising his eyebrows at me.

"Not so much marriage, but weddings."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, most girls grow up dreaming of their wedding. But a marriage is between two people. Not 2 people plus the 500 guests. I think weddings should be more intimate."

"Well do you ever see yourself getting married?"

I feel myself grow pale. This was uncharted territory for me in any of my relationships. I didn't think Dean was one of those guys to rush into things. I prayed he wasn't packing away an engagement ring in his pockets somewhere.

"Yes, of course. I just don't see myself having a big ceremony. Most girls will say they want a fairytale wedding, but after most fairytale weddings the firstborn child gets cursed. Take Princess Aurora for example."

He laughs for a moment before he goes quiet and gets a sheepish look on his face. "Who's Princess Aurora?"

"We met her in Disney, remember? She was with Prince Phillip." I say.

"Right, right. Which one was that, again?"

"She's from Sleeping Beauty." I say as if I was talking to a small child.

"I've never seen that one….I haven't seen any of them to be honest." He says rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

My eyes widen. "Never? You mean you took me to Disneyland, and we met all those people and you don't know who any of them were?"

"Uh, no…"

"That's a sin! Even Seth and Roman have seen some of them. You know what we have to do now don't you?" I ask before grabbing his hand and leading him out of the bar and too the hotel.

"I'm pretty sure that's because you made them. What do we have to do now?"

"Whatever, we have to watch them."

"How?"

"I carry the entire princess movie collection around with me on my laptop, duh."

"Seriously?" He asks disbelievingly.

"Of course I do, silly. What kind of Disney movie lover would I be if I didn't?"

**~x~**

It was around midnight and Dean and I had watched Sleeping Beauty, Pocahontas, The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast. He thankfully recognized the song that we danced to at Disneyland from Beauty and the Beast. We were currently near the ending of Tangled. It was also my favorite, but most all of them were my favorites.

"That one was my favorite, I think." He says once the credits start to roll.

"Really? Why?" I ask as I close out of the window and search for Cinderella.

"Reminded me a bit of us."

"Huh, I thought we were more of a Beauty and the Beast type couple." I say as I quit searching to look at him.

"Oh, so I'm a beast now?" He asks pretending to be hurt.

"No, I just meant in the way that we didn't enjoy each other at first, but then we fell in love."

"I guess so. I think we're more Rapunzel and Flynn, though."

"How so?"

"Well, I wasn't the best before I met you. I didn't steal or anything, but I still wasn't a good guy. And you changed me just like Rapunzel did to Flynn. And you found your dream when you got on the staff for the magazine. And you are just stubborn as Rapunzel is."

I smile at him. "That's the sweetest thing I think I've ever heard, Dean."

"And Seth and Roman can be the lizard and the horse."

I laugh at his comparison. "Chameleon, but if you don't quit it with all these cute comparisons I'm going to make you quote the movie with me all the time. Or even worse make you sing a duet with me."

"Please don't, what's next?"

"Cinderella." I state.

"Elle, can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah, sure, what is it?"

"Can you just at least talk to your mom for me?"

I stop searching through the movies once again to glare at him.

"Dean…" I sigh.

"Elle, please. If you don't want to then I'll drop it and never speak of it again. Don't you want to find out why she's here?"

After he asks, I realize that I did wonder why she had turned up out of nowhere. I didn't have to let her back in, I just wanted to know what she wanted.

"Yes," I say after a moment "I do want to know why she's here."

"Why don't you guys go out tomorrow and have lunch? Just the two of you."

"It wouldn't hurt, I guess."

"So, you'll go?" He asks surprised. I guess he didn't expect me to agree. I nod slowly. I prayed I wouldn't regret the decision.

"Promise?" He asks.

"Promise." I state.

After a moment he speaks up again, "Don't forget when you promise something, you never break that promise."

"I thought you didn't want to quote the movie?"

"I don't, but I thought that one fit."

"It did." I whisper, before snuggling into his side and clicking on Cinderella. I wasn't quite sure what tomorrows lunch date would bring, and that made me incredibly nervous.


	22. Chapter 22

**Here the next chapter is. Tearjerker, maybe?**

**Thank you** _MissAmieB, DeeMarie426, 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, Leah Pensotti, ghunter182003, and DahBomb._ **You guys are great! I would also like to thank the people who have been with this story since the start. I feel about 10 more chapters left on this story. Enjoy.**

I take one deep breath before pulling the door open to the restaurant I was meeting my mother at. I was nervous as hell, but I knew I had to do this or Dean wouldn't leave me alone about it. He had told me that when he called her, telling her that I would meet her he said he hadn't heard a women more happy than she was. I wasn't sure if that was true or not. I just prayed this meeting didn't end too badly. I had also promised to not lose my temper, I would be level headed the whole time.

"Mom, hello." I say nonchalantly, sitting down in front of her. I hoped she didn't insist on small talk.

"Hello, darling. I'm so thankful you agreed to meet me. I know you must have some questions."

"Well, don't thank me. Thank Dean, he's the one that convinced me to come." I say.

"You've found a good man in Dean, you're very lucky." She says with a small smile.

"Thank you," I say confused. "He makes very happy."

"I can tell you make him happy too. I'm glad you've managed to find someone."

"Dean takes good care of me." I say with a small nod.

"For a while, believe it or not, I was incredibly worried about you. With your anorexia, I didn't think anyone would be able to take care of you. Especially after your Gram died."

"You could have taken care of me, Mom." I say with a sad smile, now refusing to look her in the eyes.

"I know, Sweetie. I will never forgive myself for not taking care of you or for putting you down. I didn't do my job as a mother, I failed you. I can only imagine what your father must think of me now."

"Mom, why did you have to change when dad died in the crash? Why couldn't you just do the right thing, and be a good mother?"

"I don't know. I felt like I had nothing left to live for, but I had you, I didn't realize it at the time though. Now, I realize how much of a mistake that was…" She trails off.

"What do you mean?" I ask meeting her eyes that mirrored my own again.

"Sometimes, I think that you would've turned out better if I was a better mother."

"You think you caused my anorexia." I state flatly. She nods solemnly at me.

"Mom…It wasn't just you, of course your comments added to it, but I had been bullied in school for years."

"I know, I know. I was just…never there for you. And I'll regret that for the rest of my life." She says grabbing my hand and squeezing.

"Mom… you were hurting, I guess I can understand."

"But you had to be hurting too! I mean, for Christ Sake! You were 5 when you lost your father."

"You hurt me, Mom. But I'll get over it, eventually."

"I need you to get over it more than eventually." She says with a sigh.

"Why? You know I like to hold grudges."

"I know, it's what your father used to do," She takes a deep breath, "I'm dying, Eleanor."

For a moment, our table is completely silent. I do nothing except stare at her blankly at her.

"What?" I say quietly.

"I have a cancer…"

"No, you don't. You look fine."

"Maybe, but have you really looked at me, Elle? Or have you been too caught up in being mad at me that you haven't noticed?"

As soon as the words leave her mouth, I take a good look at my mother. She did look sick. She had deep dark rings around her eyes, and they were also sunk into the back of her head. I also noticed how incredibly skinny she had gotten.

"Mom…I-I-I'm so sorry" My voice cracks and my eyes start to sting. Was this why she had come to see me? To make amends before she died? I felt like such a bitch. I suddenly didn't give a damn about the things she had said to me before.

"Darling, don't apologize to me. Maybe this is Gods way of punishing me for the way I treated you." She says somberly, with a shake of her head.

"How long?"

"Well. Let's start at the beginning, yeah?"

I nod slowly at her.

"Well, it was maybe a week after you sent the text that you weren't coming home for a month. I started getting sharp abdominal pains. I, of course didn't get it checked out until a week later. I was also experiencing chest pains, and my lymph nodes were swollen.

"I went to the doctor, they ran some tests and they came back saying that I have Lymphoma."

"Have you been getting treatments?"

"Of course, but they stopped working. My immune system couldn't handle them; they were doing more bad than good. So the doctor stopped them."

"So, you gave up?"

"I guess you could say that, yeah." She says with a small shrug.

"But…why?"

"There's nothing else they can do. The treatments prolonged my life for a couple more months-"

"What? Months?" I exclaim

"Yes, 3 more to be exact…" She sighs

"So…you're for sure dying?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yeah…I'm sorry that I didn't contact you sooner. I knew that you wouldn't want to see me."

"I just feel so bad that I didn't accept your apology sooner. I-I-I'm so sorry, Mom." I say wiping away a tear that had managed to fall.

"Darling, don't apologize. If I wasn't so bitchy, you wouldn't have to accept an apology. I know that I've did some shitty things. I just wanted you to forgive me before…before I passed."

"Mom, I forgive you." I say with a sad smile, and it wasn't a lie. I forgave my mother with all my heart. I regretted not letting her back in my life sooner; I had been wasting precious time.

"Thank you, Elly-Belly." She says using her nickname that she hadn't called me since I was five.

"How did you know how to find me?" I ask curiously. She had quite literally shown up out of nowhere.

"Well, I had called your phone one night. And Dean picked up; when I told him who I was he almost hung up. But then I told him that I was sick, and he told me the next city you would be in so I could come see you."

"Is that why he pushed so hard for me to forgive you?"

"Yes…I'm sorry that I got in between you two."

"It's okay. I have a lot of things I need to apologize for too." I say with a half-smile.

"No, don't worry about it. Just know I forgive you, for whatever you think you did wrong. I hope you forgive me too."

"I do, Mom. I do." I say nodding at her again; I feel the familiar feeling of my eyes stinging come back.

"I love you, darling." She says getting up to hug me.

"I love you too, Mom." I say back to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. I hadn't said that phrase to her in forever.

She pulls back to look at me sadly.

"I'm going back home tomorrow."

"What?" I had seemed to be saying that word a lot today.

"I need to go get my will sorted out."

"…oh." I sigh feeling my shoulders slump.

"Maybe, I'll come visit again…before…well you know." And with that's she gone, leaving me alone in the restaurant.

I take a moment to just hold my head in my hands in sob. I had, had all this pent up anger towards my mother for years. And now, that she was dying it all melted away and the only thing left was regret and sadness. Regret because I had held a grudge for so long. And sadness, because after my mother was gone I wouldn't have any family left. I was the only Jensen child. Both of my parents would be gone, my mom's parents lived in the Bahamas, and my dad's parents were already dead.

I came to the shocking reality that I was the last Jensen, and that was enough for my tears to start again.


	23. Chapter 23

**Not sure how I feel about this one. Hoe well. Enjoy.**

_Em, KayNicole, 1 Crazy Brunette Goddess, StoryLover82, MissAmieB, __**and **__DeeMarie426 _**are all so lovely, and they leave me fabulous reviews!**

2 weeks pass quickly and I stay on the road with the roster. Everyone could tell I was detached and unfocused. Word had gotten around that my mother was dying and I constantly got nice words from people I never even talked to.

My mom would call everyday around the same time to assure me she was alright. Every night I went to bed with a nagging feeling that I was not in the right place. Just the thought that my mother was miles away from me and dying was nerve wracking. I almost had panic attacks every time she called even a minute past her normal time.

Dean had been my rock for the past two weeks. Usually, I would get off the phone with my mother crying because I could hear how sick she was, Dean would immediately come over to me and hold me until my crying subsided. He knew how hard it was on me.

As much as I hated to admit it, it was affecting my work. Each night when I was supposed to be ring side and getting great pictures I was always getting distracted. Thankfully, Stephanie was aware of what was going on so she wasn't too hard on me. But I knew what I had to do.

"Dean." I say over dinner one night.

"Yeah?"

"I think I need to go home for a while." The thought had been on my mind for a while. It would give me time to spend with my mother.

"Do you think Stephanie would allow it?" He asks curiously.

"I don't know, I don't plan on just leaving work for a while. I would give the photographing job to someone else, and then I would just have them send the pictures to me so I could edit them. It would allow me to work from home, but still get paid."

Making sure I had enough money was going to be an issue. When the inevitable happened I would have to plan and pay for the funeral. Luckily, I got paid more than enough to handle the costs. I just wished I could've have used the money differently.

"I doubt she'd care." He says with a sad smile. I knew was he also preparing for the worst.

"I think I'm going to surprise my mom though."

"Sounds like a great idea. I'll make sure to visit you guys when we're close enough."

I smile at him once more. "Thanks so much for being so supportive, Dean. It means a lot to me."

"Don't mention it. You need all the support you get; I know this is hard on you."

I say nothing to him in return. I just go over to him and hug him.

**~x~**

The next afternoon, after a short meeting with Stephanie, I was boarding the next plane to Stamford, Connecticut.

Dean came to see me off. Even though many others had said goodbye to me before I left.

"I wish I could be there with you."

"I do too, but you have to work. I can understand that, my mother will too."

"Make sure to tell her, I'll visit."

"I will," I laugh "She really took a liking to you."

"Well, I mean who wouldn't?" He says shrugging his shoulders.

"You're such a goof."

"Maybe." He says smirking at me.

"I love you, Dean." I say wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Love you too, Sunshine." He says back.

We stood embracing each other for a while until my plane was called for boarding. Dean and I said our goodbyes and I left him to board the plane. The 6 hour flight was going to be lovely.

**~x~**

I arrive at my old house around 7 with dinner in my hands.

"Mom?" I call opening the door with the house key that I luckily still had.

"Eleanor? What are you doing here?" My eyes widen as I take in her appearance. She was still skinny, but she was swollen in some places. She was also using a cane to support her when she walked.

"I thought it would be best to stay with you." I say with a sad smile placing the food on the coffee table in the living room.

"I appreciate that darling, I do, but what about work?"

"I have the job of editing every picture, so I can work from home." I say smiling. Why wasn't she happy?

"I don't want you to be here just because I'm dying, Eleanor." She says shaking her head.

"I thought…that you would be happy to see me." I say dejectedly.

"I am, but-"

"No, Mom, no buts. I'm here now, and I'm going to stay here. Just let me spend as much time as I can with you."

"…okay." She settles.

And the conversation is left at that.

**~x~**

2 months seem to pass in the blink of an eye. I spend all waking moments with my mother and I do anything and everything I can for her. It was a change of pace compared to when I wanted nothing to do with her.

In the past 2 months I had learned more about my mother than I did in the 26 years of my life. She also taught me a lot about my father. I learned that I had gotten my looks from my mother, but my personality and mannerisms were completely from my father.

She had also told me how they had met. It was the cutest thing I had ever heard. My dad was in a local rock band –I wasn't aware of that either- and my mom was an interviewer for a local music magazine. They met, bonded over music, and fell in love. I couldn't help but notice the similarities between their first meeting and how Dean and I met.

Dean was also a topic that came up daily with my mother. She never failed to tell me how much she loved him, and how happy she was that I was happy.

"You know there's only one thing I'm disappointed that I won't get to see." My mom said to me over her bowl of soup.

"Only one? What would that be?" I ask curiously. I would've thought she would've missed a lot more.

"Yeah, only one," She sighs before taking a sip of the broth left over from her soup "I won't get to see the children you and Dean make."

I almost spit my soup all over her. "What?" I sputter.

"You'd have beautiful children. His blue eyes and your hair and mouth. Cutest damn children ever." She states openly.

"Mom!"

"What darling? I'm just stating the truth." She says harmlessly.

"Yeah, yeah I know."

"You can't honestly tell me you haven't thought of a future with Dean. He loves you a lot, and you love him. Don't let that go to waste. Your father and I got married as soon as possible. I never regretted it."

"I mean, yeah, I've _thought _about it." I say with a small shrug.

"Have you ever talked about it?"

"Not really, we talked about weddings once."

"oooh, explain." She says prying for details. I quickly explain to her the conversation we had at the bar all those months ago, and she listens on excitedly.

"Darling, whether you want a big wedding or not, you need to marry that piece of ass."

"Mom! Oh my god." My eyes widen, as I pick up our bowls and put them in the sink to hide my blushing face. Even sober my mother had no couth.

"What? I'm just being honest. The sex must-"

"Mom!" I yelp once again. This conversation needed to end.

"Oh, alright, Elly-Belly. I'll shut up. I'm tired anyway, I'm going to bed." She says with a smile before starting up the stairs.

"Love you, Mom!"

"Love you too, Darling."

I sigh softly to myself. Maybe I should've tried to reconnect with my mother before now. It was a shame that it took her impending death for me to make amends.

**~x~**

During the third month, I'm able to watch my mother get increasingly worse. Her lymph nodes were incredibly swollen, and she could hardly walk. I knew it wouldn't be too much longer.

I was proven correct when she demanded I take her to the hospital one morning. She wouldn't even let me call 911.

When we got finally got there, they immediately emitted her to the hospital, and they hooked her up to all kind of machines.

When her doctor had finally gotten to the hospital he explained what was going on. Fluid was filling my mother's legs and it was prohibiting her from being able to move. The chemotherapy she had, had pushed the cancer into her kidneys and they were shutting down. The doctor said if she happened to make it through the night they would put her on dialysis. In his eyes, I could tell that he didn't think it was going to happen.

The next few hours had passed, and I hadn't managed to call Dean and let him know about Mom being hospitalized. All I did was hold her hand and sit by her bed. She tried to keep up a normal conversation, but I could tell how much pain she was in. It broke my heart. She even had that particular sounding death rattle. I didn't think the tears welling in my eyes had fallen yet, I promised not to let them fall in front of her

"Mom," I say softly, I continue when she turns her head towards me in acknowledgement "I'm going to call Dean. I'll be back shortly." Being in a different room from her would also allow me to shed some tears.

She says nothing and only nods at me. It must've hurt to speak.

I dial Dean's number as soon as I'm out the door, and he picks up on the second ring.

"Hello?" He answers.

"Dean…" I respond shakily.

"Elle? What's going on? Are you alright?"

"It's Mom…I think this might be it." I say, feeling a few tears fall.

"I'm on my way." He says hurriedly. I didn't focus on how long it would take him to get to the hospital. I knew I had to get back in there with my mom. I make sure to wipe my tears before going back into the room; some of the nurses send me sympathetic looks. They knew this was it too.

"Eleanor?" My mother asks with a raspy voice after a few moments.

"Yeah, mom?"

"You forgive me for all those horrible things I did and said to you, don't you?"

"Yes, yes, of course I do." I say nodding frantically.

"I love you _so _much, darling."

"I love you too, Mom." I say, feeling tears start to fall. Was she saying goodbye?

"Don't forget me, Darling."

"Never, Mom." By this point I was sobbing silently, and shaking violently.

"Can you do one more thing for me, Elly-Belly?"

"Anything, Mom."

"Get yourself some help, please. I mean that in the nicest way. Don't let your anorexia rule you anymore. Become the confident, beautiful women I know you can be. Can you promise me that?"

"Yes, I promise." I say.

There's a long silence.

"Richard…" She mutters quietly.

"What?" I was more than confused by my mother muttering my father's name.

"I'm ready, Richard."

I stay silent until I feel her hand go limp in my own. I let a shrill scream out due the immediate feeling of my heart breaking. I watch as the nurses' rush in. I try to get my legs to move but they stay still. I knew this was going to happen, so why did it hurt so badly? I had a fleeting wish that I hadn't gotten closer with my mother so it would've softened the blow. I literally felt like someone had punched me in the gut several times. Is this how my mother had felt once my father passed away? The feeling had to go away.

My mother was pronounced dead at 6:09 PM on October 6th, 2013.

By 8:30, Dean had managed to make it to the hospital. I could see how heartbroken he was when he realized he was too late.

He had gotten to me to the house after finishing things at the hospital. My crying hadn't stopped yet, and I didn't think it ever would.

"Sunshine…" He coaxes "You want to go to bed or do you want to talk?"

"I rather sleep." I say quietly.

He nods at me, and helps me as I numbly climb up the stairs. I'm grateful when he helps me change into my pajamas; I was in too much of a daze to function. He even tucks me in like a child before laying behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"It'll all be okay, Elle." He whispers into my ear.

"I hope so, Dean. I really do." I whisper back, before falling asleep.


End file.
